Critics are calling it “the most enjoyable finale in history” as the Keeping Up With The Kardashians reality TV show ended today with Caitlyn Jenner losing control of her car, running the family over, swerving off of a cliff and then landing on Kanye West in a giant explosion. Although it is scripted television, many of the show’s smartest fans are terrified that the family is actually dead. Don’t worry! They aren’t! Not like the lady that Caitlyn killed with her car in real life. Notably, for many, this is the only KUWTK episode they will ever watch – on repeat – as it is immeasurably satisfying. Some are saying that it was one of the best endings since The Office, while others have said that they cried literal tears of joy. As of press time the incorrigible Kardashians were already filming a sci-fi spinoff called ‘Picking Up Pieces Of The Kardashians’ in which doctors completely rebuild their bodies after the accident; just like surgeons have in real life. Photo credit AP/Matt Sayles
Kim Kardashian is now officially a sponsor for the plant-based meat company Beyond Meat in the first ever example of one giant pile of fake meat supporting another. Original photo credit for Beyond Meat Marco Verch, Kim Kardashian David Shankbone.
E! cable network says the Jenners and Kardashians have voided their own contracts for Keeping Up With the Kardashians after recent surgeries resulted in the families being comprised of more than 50% plastic parts. “Our network signed a contract with human beings,” a statement from E! read. “What remains of these families is mostly fake. From a legal standpoint, they are now nothing more than cold, unthinking, unfeeling objects.” According to the network, the final season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians has already been taped and will air in 2021. Meanwhile, E! is set to take physical ownership of the two families. “According to a judge’s recent ruling, E! has every right to continue to use the family as we see fit,” a statement from E! read. “If we wanted to begin filming Kourtney & Kim Take Themselves Apart – a show where the two women literally start removing body parts to scare people in public – then we will do just that.”