Elon Musk: ‘I Will Colonize Mars, But Only With Thousands Of My Own Offspring’

Billionaire Elon Musk told reporters today that, not only does he already have “at least 370 kids,” but that he also plans on having thousands more in order to colonize mars. The news comes after it was revealed that the 51-year-old Musk was having an affair with a co-worker who gave birth to twins. The twins having been born while Musk was still with his 8-month pregnant partner Grimes.

“I will colonize Mars, but only with thousands and thousands of my own offspring,” Musk stated while popping a handful of Viagra.

When asked if he had any concerns about the inevitable inbreeding that would take place on Mars to further the human race, Musk stated, “It’ll be less incest-y than the aftermath of Noah’s Ark, or the lineage of Adam and Eve. So I don’t see the problem.”

Experts say that, should Musk succeed, he would be paying enough money in child support to have ended homelessness in the United States.

Early reports on the twins Musk fathered claim that both babies are named ♊.

Photo credit Heisenberg Media

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