Brookfield, WI – Incapable of rational thought, local straight, white, able-bodied, Christian man Alan Richmond says that because his life has been hard too, it means that privilege cannot possibly exist. Experts are saying that Richmond is a very common example of privileged people being painfully unaware of their own privilege; giving them the privilege of not having to believe in privilege themselves.

“Nobody is asking people like Alan Richmond to apologize for who they are. Nobody is saying that Alan Richmond is inherently a bad person or that he should be ashamed of himself. All we are saying is that some people have more privilege than others,” sociology professor Sandra Misthorn stated.

Richmond disagrees.

“I don’t want to hear about how much more privileged I am compared to others. This is offensive,” a red-faced Richmond yelled. “I refuse to believe that anyone could possibly have a more difficult life than me!”

“Racism, sexism, and homophobia simply do not exist,” Richmond continued shouting. “And I refuse to apologize because white, straight males are inherently harder workers!”

Misthorn says Richmond isn’t necessarily evil, but he is very much so wrong.

“Being unable to grasp the concept of privilege doesn’t inherently make you a bad person. It just means you’re stupid – which could technically make you less privileged,” Misthorn stated. “So there’s that.”