Lindsey Graham ‘Moans Like Mickey Mouse’ Several Gay Escorts Confirm

“Lindsey Graham was, hands down, easily the weirdest sex I have ever had.” Continue reading Lindsey Graham ‘Moans Like Mickey Mouse’ Several Gay Escorts Confirm

5 things you should never do with your penis on an airplane in 2020

Recent studies reveal that nearly 20% of flight attendants saying they’ve received reports of passenger-on-passenger sexual assault on a flight and 68% have been sexually harassed themselves. If you’re keeping up with the times, you should already know that there … Continue reading 5 things you should never do with your penis on an airplane in 2020

Edging: Democrats plan to get Republicans very close to impeachment several times before finishing inside the Senate

Nancy Pelosi and fellow Democrats announced today that they plan to push forward with the collection of evidence in an effort to lube up Republicans across the aisle and get them to impeach president Trump. “We want to give them … Continue reading Edging: Democrats plan to get Republicans very close to impeachment several times before finishing inside the Senate

Desperate: Wikipedia threatens to tell family about xHamster searches if you don't donate $3

Desperate: Wikipedia threatens to tell family about xHamster searches if dad won’t donate $3

Wikipedia has taken to blackmail in order to raise enough money to keep the non-profit, volunteer-based information site up and running. With the #11 landing page on the site being searches for xHamster, dads everywhere have begun reporting a threatening … Continue reading Desperate: Wikipedia threatens to tell family about xHamster searches if dad won’t donate $3

USDA adds 'Ass' to MyPlate nutritional guide to relate to today's youth

USDA adds ‘Ass’ to MyPlate nutritional guide in misguided effort to relate to today’s youth

The USDA is defending itself after adding ‘Ass’ to the MyPlate nutritional guide in an effort grab attention, look cool and fit in with current youth culture. One promotional poster that was sent to schools recommends eating ass twice daily. … Continue reading USDA adds ‘Ass’ to MyPlate nutritional guide in misguided effort to relate to today’s youth

All of the porn on the internet is being preserved in this Arctic cave

PornHub CEO Mike Zoffler and countless other companies from the industry have revealed that literally all of the legal pornography on the internet is being stored 375 feet under the Arctic ice in a remote location. Notably, there’s a global … Continue reading All of the porn on the internet is being preserved in this Arctic cave

Delta flights will play same-sex pornography on repeat for the month of December

In an apology for cutting out all LGBT sex scenes from Rocketman – the biographical musical film based on the life of musician Elton John – Delta airlines has announced they’ll be playing nothing but gay sex scenes on flights … Continue reading Delta flights will play same-sex pornography on repeat for the month of December

A spike in birth control costs is hampering women’s ability to buy mom jeans

An industry-wide spike in the price of birth control has bumped the average monthly cost from $47 up to $125, forcing many women to have to choose between a pill that prevents pregnancy and a hideous article of clothing that … Continue reading A spike in birth control costs is hampering women’s ability to buy mom jeans

Un-Holy Cow! Chick-fil-A ads get dirty after KFC introduces sexy Colonel Sanders

Fast food chains have lost their minds and Chick-fil-A is no exception. Just yesterday Kentucky Fried Chicken revealed a hot, young and sexy Colonel Sanders and now Chick-fil-A is putting it all on the table with its new “Eat Mor … Continue reading Un-Holy Cow! Chick-fil-A ads get dirty after KFC introduces sexy Colonel Sanders

Medical Examiner rules Epstein’s death caused by asphyxiation during hot, gay prison sex

An official Medical Examiner report says that Jeffrey Epstein was strangled to death by a fellow inmate during incredibly hot, consensual erotic asphyxiation. “Although the two inmates did have a safe word, Epstein was unable to say it,” the report … Continue reading Medical Examiner rules Epstein’s death caused by asphyxiation during hot, gay prison sex

US Dept. Of Health: ‘Never Stick Anything Larger than a Grapefruit Up Your Butt’

“Remember, we’re only talking about girth. So if you wanted to tape 7 oversized grapefruits together and play hide the citrus in your [expletive], you could absolutely do that.” Secretary Alex Azar stated. Continue reading US Dept. Of Health: ‘Never Stick Anything Larger than a Grapefruit Up Your Butt’

Elizabeth Warren Says She’ll Divorce Her Husband and Marry a Woman to Win the Presidency

Elizabeth Warren announced today at a campaign rally that she is “ready and willing” to divorce her husband of 39 years and marry her “lifelong best friend Barb.” Continue reading Elizabeth Warren Says She’ll Divorce Her Husband and Marry a Woman to Win the Presidency