Conservatives Eat More Fast Food, Are Fatter — Here’s Why

As walking billboards for work ethic, conservatives add relish to hotdogs as they salivate over the notion of countless 80-hour work weeks to pay for an ambulance ride. Continue reading Conservatives Eat More Fast Food, Are Fatter — Here’s Why

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Porn Bill in Senate Ted Cruz Mitch McConnell

Bill Preventing Members of Congress From Watching Porn at Work Stalls in the Senate

After procedural introduction of the bill, Ted Cruz (R-TX) immediately shouted, “Permission to speak freely!?” in an echoing, emotional, yet somehow guttural and primal tone. Continue reading Bill Preventing Members of Congress From Watching Porn at Work Stalls in the Senate

A Furious, Confused Sarah Palin Lashes Out at Black Lives Matter

“Obviously black people love sports, and that’s why their babies are born during the basketball season, and football, and for those Kenyan blacks – the spring track season,” said Palin. Continue reading A Furious, Confused Sarah Palin Lashes Out at Black Lives Matter

Tragic Death Ends Trump Campaign

***BREAKING*** (Washington D.C.) The Republican National Committee is openly taking responsibility for the death of front runner presidential candidate Donald Trump. Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, immediately spoke out about the decision to kill the candidate. “We feel a … Continue reading Tragic Death Ends Trump Campaign