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Glenn Beck Converts to Islam, Burns Down Notre Dame Cathedral

“You won’t hear about this, but I burned down the Notre Dame Cathedral,” Beck confirmed live on Fox & Friends. “This was France’s 9/11 and if I weren’t there to see it firsthand, you’d never know it was me: Glenn Beck, a casual, disposable, everyday Islamic terrorist.”

Severe Depression to Impact Holiday Weekend for Many
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Severe Depression to Impact Holiday Weekend for Many

With a strong, seasonal depression quickly approaching, many Americans are considering staying home for the 4th of July weekend. Indeed, most experts agree that due to the severity of the looming depression – staying home, locking the doors, and hunkering down might be the wisest decision. “For me, it looks like the depression will be […]

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Tragic Death Ends Trump Campaign

***BREAKING*** (Washington D.C.) The Republican National Committee is openly taking responsibility for the death of front runner presidential candidate Donald Trump. Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, immediately spoke out about the decision to kill the candidate. “We feel a loss. There’s no doubt about it,” stated Ryan. “We have hundreds of thousands – millions […]

Congress Passes Unprecidented Gun Control Law
Gun Control Politics

Congress Passes Gun Control Law Limiting Mass Shootings to 37 Per Year

With a shocking amount of Republican support, a new law has finally been passed to address gun violence in America. The bill, which is entitled the ‘Act Legitimizing Morally Offensive Shootings Today,’ or A.L.M.O.S.T., will place restrictions on those selling guns after 37 mass shootings have taken place in the calendar year. Despite receiving close to […]