A Face-Licking Epidemic is Freaking Out Floridians

“Oakley’s actions have thrown open the closet doors for individuals who are aroused by licking things to claim them as their own,”

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Severe Depression to Impact Holiday Weekend for Many

Severe Depression to Impact Holiday Weekend for Many

With a strong, seasonal depression quickly approaching, many Americans are considering staying home for the 4th of July weekend. Indeed, most experts agree that due to the severity of the looming depression – staying home, locking the doors, and hunkering down might be the wisest decision. “For me, it looks like the depression will be […]

Tragic Death Ends Trump Campaign

***BREAKING*** (Washington D.C.) The Republican National Committee is openly taking responsibility for the death of front runner presidential candidate Donald Trump. Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, immediately spoke out about the decision to kill the candidate. “We feel a loss. There’s no doubt about it,” stated Ryan. “We have hundreds of thousands – millions […]

6 More Ways America Leads The World

6 More Ways America Leads The World

“America leads the world in pretty much everything awesome, there’s no need to even research that because everyone knows it. Fact. Period. Soaring eagles. End of story. But, did you know that…”

Poll: Republicans Care More About the Poor

Poll: Republicans Care More About the Poor

Gallup has released a poll that shows that Republicans care more about poor people than Democrats. Indeed, the poll has raised some eyebrows on the left as they have always claimed to be the party that supports programs that assist the poor.

senator hannah beth jackson

Bill Forces Black Rights Movement into California Textbooks

The California Legislature may pass a kidney stone over a bill that would force school textbooks and teachers to incorporate information on African Americans into their curriculum. The Fairly, Audacious, Intrusive, and Regretful Education Act, or SB48 – which resembles a bill previously vetoed by former Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger – made it one crip walk […]

Michelle Obama to Push Spanish Characters into American-English Alphabet

Michelle Obama described the move Tuesday evening while dining at Oyamel Cocina Mexicana – one of the premiere Mexican dining establishments in D.C.

“The Spanish alphabet is not far-off from that of what most English speaking Americans are used to,” Michelle Obama said, “Plus, this can actually be looked at as a fun…”