Fox News Forces Caitlyn Jenner To Use A Bathroom At The Pizzeria Across The Street

Caitlyn Jenner found out today that she is not allowed to use the men’s or women’s restrooms at Fox News. Instead, Jenner was told by executives at her new place of work to leave the building and go use the … Continue reading Fox News Forces Caitlyn Jenner To Use A Bathroom At The Pizzeria Across The Street

Supreme Court Says Web Designer Refusing To Serve LGBTQ+ Must Display “No Gays!” Sign In Window

The United States Supreme Court ruled today that Colorado web designer Lorie Smith, who is refusing to serve gay customers, must put a sign in her store window that reads “No Gays” or “Heterosexuals Only” if she wants to retain … Continue reading Supreme Court Says Web Designer Refusing To Serve LGBTQ+ Must Display “No Gays!” Sign In Window

Donda 2 Will Be In New File Format ‘.KIM’ That Can Only Be Read By Kanye’s Stem Device

Kanye West revealed today that his upcoming album Donda 2 will be released in an all-new file format that Ye says he himself invented. “It’s called ‘.K-I-M’ and you spell it out when you say it,” Kanye stated. “Don’t call … Continue reading Donda 2 Will Be In New File Format ‘.KIM’ That Can Only Be Read By Kanye’s Stem Device

Kanye West’s Plane With ‘Fuck Pete Davidson’ Banner Diverted From Super Bowl Airspace

After spending most of his Sunday morning trashing Pete Davidson on his Instagram account, Kanye West admitted that he was responsible for an airplane that was seen flying toward the Super Bowl with a “Fuck Pete Davidson” banner. Authorities say … Continue reading Kanye West’s Plane With ‘Fuck Pete Davidson’ Banner Diverted From Super Bowl Airspace

Loud Biden Fart Makes Putin Smile For First Time In Years & Call Off Ukraine Invasion

President Joe Biden spoke with Russian president Vladimir Putin today in an effort to de-escalate incredibly high tensions surrounding what looked to be an inevitable invasion of Ukraine. As the two men were nearing the end of what seemed like … Continue reading Loud Biden Fart Makes Putin Smile For First Time In Years & Call Off Ukraine Invasion

McDonald’s Ice Cream Machines Also Broken In The Metaverse

“If you happen to see a working ice cream machine at a McDonald’s just know that you are not in the metaverse and that you are not in reality, Kempczinski warned. “You’re somewhere else and you need to somehow wake up or get the hell out!” Continue reading McDonald’s Ice Cream Machines Also Broken In The Metaverse

Trump Repeatedly Flushed Official Documents Down The Toilet & Flooded The Oval Office

Maggie Haberman’s new book “Confidence Man: The Making of Donald Trump and the Breaking of America” reveals that throughout the Trump presidency White House staff would find documents clogging the toilet adjacent to the Oval Office – sometimes resulting in … Continue reading Trump Repeatedly Flushed Official Documents Down The Toilet & Flooded The Oval Office

BREAKING: Biden Makes Monday After Super Bowl A National Holiday

President Joe Biden has declared ‘Super Bowl Monday’ – the day after the big football game – a new national holiday. The decision was made when Biden read an article about the huge losses that companies already incur on that … Continue reading BREAKING: Biden Makes Monday After Super Bowl A National Holiday

NFL Will Use ‘Animal-Free’ Footballs Now That Tom Brady Is Going Vegan

The NFL announced today that starting next weekend the league will be using plant-based, vegan footballs. The historic change comes after Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady held a press conference in which he spent over an hour telling reporters why he’s … Continue reading NFL Will Use ‘Animal-Free’ Footballs Now That Tom Brady Is Going Vegan

Elon Musk: ‘CEO Is A Made-Up Title, Call Me Sir Hair Plugs McBlood Emerald’

Billionaire Elon Musk stunned attendees at The Wall Street Journal’s CEO Council Summit yesterday when he proclaimed that “CEO is a made-up title.” Musk added that he had applied for a formal SEC filing to change his official title to “Sir … Continue reading Elon Musk: ‘CEO Is A Made-Up Title, Call Me Sir Hair Plugs McBlood Emerald’

Wheel Of Fortune Adds ‘Death Slot’ After Seeing Success Of Squid Game

The long-running, popular American TV game show Wheel of Fortune has updated its iconic wheel by replacing the ‘Bankruptcy’ slot with ‘DEATH.’ Due to the changes, players will now have a 1 in 24 chance of being executed by host … Continue reading Wheel Of Fortune Adds ‘Death Slot’ After Seeing Success Of Squid Game

Israeli palestinian conflict ice cream

Ben & Jerry’s To Release New Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Ice Cream That’s Just Chocolate & Vanilla That Refuses To Mix

Known for dabbling in politics, ice cream company Ben & Jerry’s is set to release a new ‘Israeli-Palestinian Conflict’ flavor that’s just chocolate and vanilla that is impossible to mix together. “What you’re basically getting here is the choice to … Continue reading Ben & Jerry’s To Release New Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Ice Cream That’s Just Chocolate & Vanilla That Refuses To Mix

Jeff Bezos Going To Space To Get A Better Look At Earth Before Potentially Buying It

Jeff Bezos Going To Space ‘To Get A Better Look At Earth’ Before Potentially Buying It

Jeff Bezos announced today that he will be flying to outer space next month on Blue Origin’s New Shepard Rocket in order to “get a better look at Earth” before deciding if he wants to buy it. The flight, which … Continue reading Jeff Bezos Going To Space ‘To Get A Better Look At Earth’ Before Potentially Buying It

guy fieri new contract 80 million or until he dies from heart attack

Food Network Signs $80 Million Contract With Guy Fieri For 3-Years, Or Until Death By Heart Attack

The Food Network announced today that they have come to an agreement with Guy Fieri on a new contract after a two week long discussion and multiple doctor’s visits to check up on Fieri’s health. Because of test results, the … Continue reading Food Network Signs $80 Million Contract With Guy Fieri For 3-Years, Or Until Death By Heart Attack

53% Of Republicans Think Trump Is Legally The Current President; If True He Won’t Be Able To Run In 2024 Due To Term Limits

A poll released today revealed that 53% of Republicans firmly believe that Donald Trump is currently the real president of the United States. What’s more, another 63% say he should still run again in 2024. But if Trump were truly … Continue reading 53% Of Republicans Think Trump Is Legally The Current President; If True He Won’t Be Able To Run In 2024 Due To Term Limits

dodgers change name to dogers after new sponsorship from dogecoin

Dodgers Move Forward With Name Change After New Sponsorship By Dogecoin

The team formerly known as the Los Angeles Dodgers now bears a slightly-adjusted, new name and team mascot. Now recognized as the Dogers, after Dogecoin became the team’s new sponsor, the new mascot will be the a Shiba Inu dog … Continue reading Dodgers Move Forward With Name Change After New Sponsorship By Dogecoin