Those wanting the new Apple Card will begin their contracts $2,000 in debt as the credit card is the first to require a starting balance. Savvy consumers will have the option to purchase an upgrade chip that lowers their APR by 1%. The chip will sell for an extra $499 and take the average customer $800 and two years to pay off. Advertisements
Fast food chains have lost their minds and Chick-fil-A is no exception. Just yesterday Kentucky Fried Chicken revealed a hot, young and sexy Colonel Sanders and now Chick-fil-A is putting it all on the table with its new “Eat Mor Ass.” campaign. “It’s pretty simple,” CEO Dan Cathy stated. “We tell people to lick each other’s buttholes and then those same people come and pay to eat our chicken. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense or not, sex sells!” Photo Credit Phillip Pessar, Mark Turnauckas, KFC
House democrats killed a republican-sponsored bill today that would have allowed president Trump to detonate nukes in the eyes of hurricanes utilizing trained dolphins. The 272-158 vote reportedly infuriated the president who immediately went on Twitter to vent his anger.
The hair-covered confection comes with a prominent choking hazard warning as the company acknowledges that the hair can get lodged in the windpipe.
Scientists say that everyone’s genetic activity is measurable and that soon devices will be able to scan people and determine just how gay they are.
A tribe of at least 1,200 gigantic Amazonian women has fled into Brazil’s cities in order to escape unbelievably massive rainforest fires that have been burning for three weeks. The invasion of oversized woman left most Brazilians shocked, intrigued or aroused. Many of the towering women, who are all at least 8-feet tall, have already signed lucrative WNBA and modeling contracts. “It’s great that these women have integrated into our society so quickly because we have no plans to stop this fire,” Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro stated. The Amazon, which provides 20% of the planet’s oxygen, will likely burn up completely in the coming weeks.
A study by US Foods revealed that a shocking twenty-eight percent of food delivery drivers have eaten customers‘ food. What do you think? More NewsSupport the AuthorTake me to the MEMES!SourcePhoto Credit franchise opportunities