Failed Frozen Steak Salesman Turned Reality TV Host Somehow Not Good at Leading a Nation

A 73-year-old former frozen steak salesman is having a surprisingly hard time running an entire country despite having been a reality TV host. What do you think? Advertisements

Advertisements

Michigan Bans Trump, Revokes ‘Man of The Year’ Award

YouReadyGrandma

Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer announced this afternoon that president Donald Trump has been banned from her state. The announcement comes hours after Trump broke state law by not wearing a face mask during his visit to a Michigan Ford plant despite being warned to wear one. “Michigan deserves better than Donald J. Trump,” Whitmer stated. “Whenever the president comes around, he and his people bring crime. They bring lies. They spread disease. And some, I assume, are good people.” “I’m also stripping Mr. Trump of his ‘Michigan Man of The Year’ title,” Whitmer stated. “Which was never awarded to him like he claims because it doesn’t exist – but I’m doing it anyway because we all know that somehow it matters to him.” Meanwhile, governors from 22 other states including Wisconsin, Colorado and California are now considering implementing their own bans and fake award revocations, with Nevada Governor Stephen Sisolak saying he might actually honor Trump by making the president’s hairpiece Nevada’s official state roadkill.

Laughable Third Party Candidate Hasn’t Even Been Accused of Sexual Assault

YouReadyGrandma

Congressman Justin Amash, a Republican-turned-independent from Michigan, took heat upon announcing his presidential bid after it was revealed that he has yet to be accused of any form of sexual misconduct. The revelation that Amash may be an unquestionably innocent man has many wondering if he is even qualified to be president. What do you think? Photo credit Gage Skidmore.

Space Force Bible written in Galactic Basic and blessed at National Cathedral sparks outrage

YouReadyGrandma

The blessing of the official Bible of the US Space Force took place today and religious groups are livid after learning the selected Bible was written in Galactic Basic; the common language found in Star Wars. The White House confirmed that the Bible was selected by president Trump himself who insisted that it be written in Galactic Basic “so that the aliens could understand.”

Trump threatens to destroy Iran by becoming their president

YouReadyGrandma

Donald Trump announced today that he plans to run for President of Iran in the country’s 2021 election if current leader Hassan Rouhani doesn’t stop his attacks on US bases in Iraq. “I’m going to be the first man to have a dual-presidency,” Trump confirmed. “Can you believe it? They say it’s unprecedented folks. Unprecedented.” When asked how he plans to win over a 90% Muslim country, Trump said his treatment of women and dislike of transgendered people would form a solid foundation to work from.

Historic: Iran votes to allow women in pornography

YouReadyGrandma

In a narrow 151-139 vote, Iranian Parliament voted today to allow women to star in pornography. Up until today, women had been barred from appearing in any adult films or printed magazines. “No longer will we have to dress young men as women in order to shoot our films,” Iranian President Hassan Rouhani smiled. “No longer will we have to pretend that we aren’t masturbating to thinly-veiled gay porn.” Going forward, Rouhani says that any citizen caught viewing the old Iranian porn will be stoned to death for being a homosexual.

Trump threatens North Pole after going 18 years without a single present from Santa

YouReadyGrandma

President Donald Trump is furious that he hasn’t received a gift from Santa since 2000 – when he was 54 years old.

%d bloggers like this: