A study released by Harvard University today revealed that of the top 100 wealthiest Americans, nearly 90% claimed that they were either “close” or “very close” to liking the United States enough to start paying […]
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Moderna announced today that the pharmaceutical company was in the final stages of testing a new suppository for the approximately 65 million Americans who are afraid of needles (trypanophobia). Notably, during the study, scientists made […]
Over 22,400 Americans have choked to death in 2020 – more than four times the yearly average. Experts say the cause is an uptick in less intelligent Americans finally agreeing to wear masks and then […]
A recent study published by Princeton reveals that approximately 31% of Americans are not smart enough to understand how a virus spreads, why they should be wearing masks, or how their reckless behavior is forcing […]
According to a recent Gallop poll, less than 1 in 3 employed Americans say they’re involved in, enthusiastic about, or committed to their work or workplace. What do you think?
Members of Congress revealed today that they had forgotten to sign their insufficient joke of a stimulus bill with a sincere ‘Fuck You’ in order to make the document as transparent as possible. “With a […]