Discrimination: Einstein Bagels only hires males with small penises to make center holes in bagels

YouReadyGrandma

A class action lawsuits against restaurant chain Einstein Bros Bagels is claiming the restaurant discriminates based on penis size when hiring male employees. Several men reported that part of the interview process involved comparing hand and foot sizes with current male employees and having to answer questions like: “Is it the size of the boat, or the motion in the ocean?” As of press time the US Food Safety and Inspection Service was visiting Einsteins locations to make sure employees were wearing condoms while poking tiny holes in the bagels. Advertisements

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Planters re-releases original 1906 recipe of Warts & Peanuts for Halloween

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s like an explosion of spoiled milk and beef jerky in my mouth!”

US Steel fires 200 workers to celebrate success of Trump tariffs

YouReadyGrandma

US Steel, the nation’s second largest producer of steel, will be laying off over 200 employees as a way of celebrating the impacts of Trump’s tariffs. “We’re doing so well that we’ve fulfilled all the orders,” US Steel CEO David Burritt stated. “For the first time in our history we’re all caught up!” As part of the celebration, US Steel will have its 3,000-plus employees draw straws today to see who gets to go home early and permanently.

Disturbing Oscar Mayer ice cream-filled hotdogs leak vanilla out of their tips

YouReadyGrandma

American meat company Oscar Meyer has plunged its toes into the dairy dessert world with their release of ice cream-filled hotdogs. Marketed as ‘Vanilla Squirters’ the odd treat hit store shelves this week. What do you think?

Furries rejoice as Birkenstock announces Furkenstock sandals

YouReadyGrandma

The new line of sandals will come in 7 species options and be released in about one dog year.

Supreme Court Rules “Corporations Can Also Be Gay People”

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s Adam and Summer’s Eve, not Ben and Jerry; although, some Victoria’s Secret and Lane Bryant experimentation sounds intriguing,” Trump tweeted.

Trump Opens Marketing Company Called ‘Trump Consultation by Trump’

“Watch for the return of Toys “R” Trump, chains of Trumpback Steakhouse, Trumpley-Donaldson motorcycles and Old Trumpy Buffet.” – Sarah Huckabee Sanders

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