Unaware Of Air Travel Shutdown, Southwest Flight Cancellations ‘Remained At Same Frequency As Usual’

Continue reading Unaware Of Air Travel Shutdown, Southwest Flight Cancellations ‘Remained At Same Frequency As Usual’

Supreme Court Says Web Designer Refusing To Serve LGBTQ+ Must Display “No Gays!” Sign In Window

The United States Supreme Court ruled today that Colorado web designer Lorie Smith, who is refusing to serve gay customers, must put a sign in her store window that reads “No Gays” or “Heterosexuals Only” if she wants to retain … Continue reading Supreme Court Says Web Designer Refusing To Serve LGBTQ+ Must Display “No Gays!” Sign In Window

Little Caesars’ All-New ‘MaxiPizza’ To Be Released For Women’s History Month

Little Caesars announced today that in honor of Women’s History Month the pizza chain will be selling the all-new ‘MaxiPizza’ – which is simply a maxi pad-shaped pizza topped with pepperoni. Little Caesars CEO David Scrivano spoke briefly with reporters … Continue reading Little Caesars’ All-New ‘MaxiPizza’ To Be Released For Women’s History Month

Meta Sues Trump’s Social Media Company For Ripping Off ‘Poke’ Feature With ‘Grope’ Button

The company formerly known as Facebook has filed a lawsuit against Donald Trump’s new social media company Truth Social. Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg says that he decided to take action against Trump when he saw the similarities between his ‘poke’ … Continue reading Meta Sues Trump’s Social Media Company For Ripping Off ‘Poke’ Feature With ‘Grope’ Button

Frontier-Spirit Merger Cancelled After Airlines Try To Charge Each Other Millions In Hidden Fees

A Frontier and Spirit Airline merger fell through just hours after being announced this morning when both companies realized that the other had slipped in hundreds of millions of dollars in hidden ‘merger fees’. “It was a wonderful idea to … Continue reading Frontier-Spirit Merger Cancelled After Airlines Try To Charge Each Other Millions In Hidden Fees

Little Caesars: ‘We Improved The Crust, But The Rest Of The Pizza Is Still Absolute Trash’

Pizza chain Little Caesars announced today that they have completely overhauled the ingredients that they use to make their pizza crusts, but that they’ve done absolutely nothing to make the rest of the pizza more palatable. “We went ahead and … Continue reading Little Caesars: ‘We Improved The Crust, But The Rest Of The Pizza Is Still Absolute Trash’

Facebook To Change Their Name To ‘Company’ – Making It Hard To Google Bad News About Them

Leaked documents from Facebook headquarters reveal that the corporation will be officially changing its name to “Company” next Thursday. Many people are pointing out that the name change will make it nearly impossible to search for news about the company … Continue reading Facebook To Change Their Name To ‘Company’ – Making It Hard To Google Bad News About Them

conservative coffee company black rifle wont serve black coffee

Confused, Conservative-Run Coffee Chain Too Scared To Serve Black Coffee

Unwilling to learn current social etiquette – and despite the fact that black coffee is widely considered the most “manly” way to take your caffeine – the conservative and veteran-run Black Rifle Coffee Company is still too confused and frightened … Continue reading Confused, Conservative-Run Coffee Chain Too Scared To Serve Black Coffee

Trump Only Aware Of His Own System Of (Bounced) Checks & (Negative Account) Balances

Despite being president for four years, Donald Trump made it clear today that he still doesn’t know how the US government operates. Trump is livid that Brett Kavanaugh – who he nominated to the position of Supreme Court justice – … Continue reading Trump Only Aware Of His Own System Of (Bounced) Checks & (Negative Account) Balances

App Lets Eco-Conscious Users Buy Leftovers Instead Of Just Giving Food To The Homeless

The anti-food waste company Too Good To Go sells food that’s left over, or won’t be sold, through their app. The food, which comes from restaurants, bakeries and grocery stores, is delivered as a surprise grab bag of food that … Continue reading App Lets Eco-Conscious Users Buy Leftovers Instead Of Just Giving Food To The Homeless

subway tuna is people

‘Our Tuna Is Definitely Not Shredded-Up People’ Suspicious, Overly-Specific Subway Statement Reads

Refusing to say exactly what’s in their tuna, Subway released an odd, rambling statement today in which the company attempted to reassure the public that their fishy product is not made from people. “The tuna is definitely not shredded-up people,” … Continue reading ‘Our Tuna Is Definitely Not Shredded-Up People’ Suspicious, Overly-Specific Subway Statement Reads

Woman in Pink Mary Kay Mercedes Just Realized She’s Part of a Pyramid Scheme

36-year-old Karen Howard of Ontario, CA just realized that the vibrant pink Mary Kay Mercedes she’s driving is an announcement to the world that she’s part of a pyramid scheme. Howard says she can’t believe that she’s spent two years … Continue reading Woman in Pink Mary Kay Mercedes Just Realized She’s Part of a Pyramid Scheme

Discrimination: Einstein Bagels only hires males with small penises to make center holes in bagels

A class action lawsuits against restaurant chain Einstein Bros Bagels is claiming the restaurant discriminates based on penis size when hiring male employees. Several men reported that part of the interview process involved comparing hand and foot sizes with current … Continue reading Discrimination: Einstein Bagels only hires males with small penises to make center holes in bagels

US Steel fires 200 workers to celebrate success of Trump tariffs

US Steel, the nation’s second largest producer of steel, will be laying off over 200 employees as a way of celebrating the impacts of Trump’s tariffs. “We’re doing so well that we’ve fulfilled all the orders,” US Steel CEO David … Continue reading US Steel fires 200 workers to celebrate success of Trump tariffs

Disturbing Oscar Mayer ice cream-filled hotdogs leak vanilla out of their tips

American meat company Oscar Meyer has plunged its toes into the dairy dessert world with their release of ice cream-filled hotdogs. Marketed as ‘Vanilla Squirters’ the odd treat hit store shelves this week. What do you think? Continue reading Disturbing Oscar Mayer ice cream-filled hotdogs leak vanilla out of their tips