Trump Explains Why He Hasn’t Made a Homophobic Nickname For Pete Buttigieg, Yet

President Trump said at a press conference today that he is having a very difficult time thinking of a gay-related nickname to call Democratic Presidential Candidate Pete Buttigieg.

“I do nicknames folks. It’s what I do. But his name doesn’t really lend itself to much; I don’t even know how to pronounce it,” Trump stated, before pausing to readjust his dentures.

“How do you say that last name? Butt-I-Judge? Booty-Gay? Butt-Guy?” Trump asked. “What I’ve been doing is taking the ‘Peter’ and I put it in there with the ‘Butt’ stuff, I move the Peter around, go back and forth. But that’s as close as I get to finishing.”

Trump even tried throwing Buttigieg’s middle names into the mix.

“His full, legal name is Peter Paul Montgomery Buttigieg,” Trump grinned. “Plain, old, boring Peter Paul Montgomery. I still couldn’t think of anything folks! Peter, Paul and what? What do I call this little Mary?”

The soon-to-be 73-year-old, grown adult finished his short press conference by telling reporters he would keep trying to construct a nickname for the 37-year-old Buttigieg.

“When I think of something, you better believe I’m going to go right up to him, get right on Peter and really ride him. Just unload on him with everything I’ve got – and I’ve got a lot. Just ask Melania. I’ve been trying to finish for quite a while, and when I do it’s going to feel great folks. Just great.”

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Photo by: Edward Kimmel

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