“Milwaukee should brace itself for about 700 campaign rallies in the next 603 days.” – Gov. Tony Evers
The Senator began the livestream by saying “Hold on a sec, I’m going to go grab my bong,” before exiting the shot and flipping on ‘Kaya’ by Bob Marley.
“The left prides itself on inclusivity, but here I am having to scream ‘DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER!?'”
Booker’s 15 minute ventriloquism act included a perfectly performed impersonation of Sesame Street’s best-known character.
“The letter went on in vivid detail describing the painting process, preferred makeup brands, how to wash mascara out of your underwear, and more.”
“Now, when I place Sajid in a crouching position behind me I’ll look for a confused expression on the president’s face. Soon thereafter – and here’s where it gets interesting – Sajid will pop out from behind me and…”
“I almost gave up and started drawing patterns in the bubbles, but then I remembered I was voting.”