A Beaver trapped Elizabeth Warren in the corner of her Indianapolis campaign office for four hours

YouReadyGrandma

A wild beaver somehow managed to sneak into one of Elizabeth Warren’s campaign headquarters and corner the presidential front runner for over four hours this morning. Warren says she’s doing fine and that this wasn’t her first encounter with a beaver. “I’ve done my fair share of experimenting in college,” Warren smiled. “It’s gonna take a lot more than a beaver to get me rattled. Don’t threaten me with a good time!” Advertisements

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Elizabeth Warren reveals she’s bisexual and polyamorous on National Coming Out Day

YouReadyGrandma

Elizabeth Warren used National Coming Out Day as an opportunity to officially tell the world that she is both bisexual and polyamorous. The presidential front runner made the announcement on NPR. “I put the ‘B’ in LGBT,” Warren laughed. “I’m an energetic bisexual who’s in an open relationship with my husband, my life partner Barb, and anyone out there who’s interested.” When reached for comment, Warren’s husband Bruce said he has “No idea what Elizabeth is talking about.”

“I’m Elizabeth Warren and I let a Marine go down on me… for America” new political ad states

YouReadyGrandma

A new, controversial advertisement by Elizabeth Warren’s presidential campaign was released today and people are shocked. The ad, which focuses on the Senator admitting to a sexual affair with a 24-year old Marine, combines a patriotic tone with a confusing message. In total, the 30-second spot includes a brief admission of the affair while God Bless America plays in the background. As the song reaches crescendo, a lit-up Warren proclaims “I’m Elizabeth Warren and I let a United States Marine go down on me… for America!” Vocal critics of Warren who demanded that the Senator end her campaign over the affair were silenced by being reminded of Stormy Daniels.

Elizabeth Warren Says She Keeps a Beer Keg as a Pet in Her Massachusetts Home

YouReadyGrandma

Warren says the two are inseparable.

Elizabeth Warren Becomes Spokeswoman for New Lesbian Dating App Mufflr

YouReadyGrandma

According to their website, Mufflr is being funded by powerful lesbians Ellen Degeneres and Hillary Clinton.

Elizabeth Warren Recommends Changing Your Dreamcatcher Filter Every Spring

YouReadyGrandma

“My dreams became littered with terrifying sex monsters that attacked my lesbian lover Barb.” – Elizabeth Warren

Elizabeth Warren Says She’ll Divorce Her Husband and Marry a Woman to Win the Presidency

YouReadyGrandma

Elizabeth Warren announced today at a campaign rally that she is “ready and willing” to divorce her husband of 39 years and marry her “lifelong best friend Barb.”

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