Bill Gates Stars as Catwoman in Highly-Anticipated Film

Get ready for another shakeup in the superhero movie realm as rumors have been confirmed that Bill Gates is playing the role of Catwoman in a yet-to-be-titled movie that finished filming in December.

Conservatives are calling Gates’ casting a small victory for the straight, white man – while others point out that Catwoman’s story arc depicts an overtly-bisexual dominatrix; a theme that carries throughout the film to a nauseating degree.

In the movie, Gates’ character is a fashion mogul and the CEO of Left-Click Leather; an online, high-end BDSM store. The evil company has a monopoly on the leather costume industry – giving Catwoman the opportunity to maliciously modify several superheroes’ newly ordered outfits.

Early screenings have top critics describing Tim Cook as being “the best Batman yet.”

As is expected in Catwoman movies, Gates oozes with a sultry sex appeal that culminates in a passionate, 12-minute lovemaking scene with the masked hero Batman who is played by Apple CEO Tim Cook.

“The unbearably awkward sexual tension between the two characters is far beyond palpable,” acclaimed movie critic Leo Maltin confirmed. “The way that Gates pursues Cook’s Batman throughout the film continues to give me waking nightmares and entirely unsolicited erections, despite having seen the film last month.”

As a nod to Bill Gates, the film will be the world’s first “freemium movie,” meaning that viewing the last 15 minutes of the film costs an extra $8.99. Once the movie is released on digital and blu-ray it may be updated frequently, and without warning.

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(Catwoman, modified) Photo Credit: Smart Destinations
Photo Credit (Batman):  
Andrew Guyton

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