Tag: Politics
Party-Curious Kyrsten Sinema Switches From Democrat To Independent Just To See What People Say Before Totally Coming Out As Republican
The very brave, former Democrat Krysten Sinema decided to admit to her colleagues today that she is, in fact, an independent. “This may come as a shock to some,” Sinema stated. “But I cannot be more honest when I say … Continue reading Party-Curious Kyrsten Sinema Switches From Democrat To Independent Just To See What People Say Before Totally Coming Out As Republican
‘Tucker’ Carlson’s Name Originates From The Act Of Drag Queens Taping Their Weiners Between Their Legs
After spending months railing against the LGBTQ community and drag queens by calling them “groomers” and “pedophiles,” Fox News pundit Tucker Carlson admitted today that he is – in fact – named after the act of “tucking,” which is when … Continue reading ‘Tucker’ Carlson’s Name Originates From The Act Of Drag Queens Taping Their Weiners Between Their Legs
Study: Republicans Think Kids Being Aware Of ‘Straight’ Couples Is Fine, But Mentioning Gay People Is ‘Too Sexual’
A recent study by Harvard University shows that Republicans in the US strongly believe that mentioning the existence of any LGBTQ+ people to kids is inherently sexual and therefore inappropriate for them to hear about. The study comes at a … Continue reading Study: Republicans Think Kids Being Aware Of ‘Straight’ Couples Is Fine, But Mentioning Gay People Is ‘Too Sexual’
Empty Seats At State Of The Union Filled With Angry, Blow-Up Putins So That Biden Still Gets Exact Same Reactions
Democrats are filling the empty seats left open by Republicans for the State of the Union with blow up dolls that have angry Vladimir Putin faces taped to them. Notably, the large number of vacant seats is due to Republicans … Continue reading Empty Seats At State Of The Union Filled With Angry, Blow-Up Putins So That Biden Still Gets Exact Same Reactions
Attention-Seeking Kim Jong-un Posts Series Of Revealing Photos With Risqué Hashtags
North Korean leader Kim Jong-un posted a series of sexual, shirtless photos of himself on social media today while adding several risqué and incorrectly-used hashtags to accompany them. Political experts are saying that the decision to post this content reveals … Continue reading Attention-Seeking Kim Jong-un Posts Series Of Revealing Photos With Risqué Hashtags
Judge Throws Out Sarah Palin Libel Case Because ‘Nobody Ever Knows What The Hell She’s Talking About’
U.S. District Court Judge Jed Rakoff, who is presiding over the Sarah Palin vs. New York Times libel trial, stunned those in the courtroom today when he abruptly threw out the entire case while Palin was on the stand. “None … Continue reading Judge Throws Out Sarah Palin Libel Case Because ‘Nobody Ever Knows What The Hell She’s Talking About’
Despite Clearing Browser Histories, FL Republicans Still Unable To Stop Thinking About Gay Kids
Despite clearing their browser histories, Ron DeSantis and dozens of fellow Florida republicans are having an extremely difficult time getting themselves to stop thinking about gay kids. “Anything relating to the queers has to be considered sexual; even their very … Continue reading Despite Clearing Browser Histories, FL Republicans Still Unable To Stop Thinking About Gay Kids
TX Republican To Ban 850 Books That ‘Could Make Students Feel Uneasy’
Representative Matt Krause (R-TX) has compiled a list of 850 books that he wants to ban in schools. Krause says the books in question “might make students feel discomfort, guilt, anguish, or any other form of psychological distress because of … Continue reading TX Republican To Ban 850 Books That ‘Could Make Students Feel Uneasy’
Trump Lawsuit Blocks Release Of Evidence He Claims Exonerates Him
Donald Trump filed a lawsuit today in an effort to block the National Archives from releasing documents about the January 6th insurrection to the congressional committee that is investigating the events of that day. Experts say that Trump’s claim of … Continue reading Trump Lawsuit Blocks Release Of Evidence He Claims Exonerates Him
Poll: Many Trump Voters Support Seceding From The United States
A recent poll from the Center for Politics at the University of Virginia says that a majority of Trump voters at least “somewhat” support the idea of seceding from the United States. Here’s what people are saying. “Would they secede … Continue reading Poll: Many Trump Voters Support Seceding From The United States
Republicans Continue To Expertly Troll Democrats By Purposely Being Wrong About Everything
A leaked memo from the office of Senator Ted Cruz has revealed that the Republican Party leaders don’t actually believe in much of what they say or do. When reached for comment, Cruz had some shocking things to say. “Let … Continue reading Republicans Continue To Expertly Troll Democrats By Purposely Being Wrong About Everything
Anti-Science Anti-Mask Anti-Pope Anti-Vaxxer Just Saying ‘No’ To Everything At This Point
(Knoxville, TN) Local man Brian McMillan, who is an anti-science, anti-mask, anti-pope, anti-vaxxer has found himself so against everything that he’s now stuck saying no to everyone no matter what. McMillan says the new affliction has caused him to regret … Continue reading Anti-Science Anti-Mask Anti-Pope Anti-Vaxxer Just Saying ‘No’ To Everything At This Point
Unruly Conservatives Will Be Tased ‘Mercilessly & Without Warning’ On Spirit Airlines
Reports of an extreme uptick in unruly behavior by conservative passengers has prompted Spirit Airlines to announce that they are now supplying crew members with tasers. “In an average year, there are around 100 to 150 cases of bad passenger … Continue reading Unruly Conservatives Will Be Tased ‘Mercilessly & Without Warning’ On Spirit Airlines
‘Saying No To The Commission Doesn’t Imply We’re Guilty’ McConnell Chants With Hypnotized Republicans
Mitch McConnell (R-KY) was seen hypnotizing fellow Republicans on the Senate floor today with the clear goal of making them feel okay with voting ‘no’ on the January 6th commission. “Voting against the Capitol insurrection investigation in no way implies … Continue reading ‘Saying No To The Commission Doesn’t Imply We’re Guilty’ McConnell Chants With Hypnotized Republicans
Liz Cheney Sent To Re-Education Camp To Learn How To ‘Reject The Evidence Of Her Eyes & Ears’
After casting votes to oust Liz Cheney from her position of power today, House Republicans immediately voted to send the representative off to a new re-education camp for Republicans who won’t completely back Donald Trump. Notably, the camp is run … Continue reading Liz Cheney Sent To Re-Education Camp To Learn How To ‘Reject The Evidence Of Her Eyes & Ears’
BREAKING: Caitlyn Jenner Unlikely To Win After Majority Of Supporters Escape The California Homeless Via Private Jet
Republicans Call For Humane Treatment Of Kids In Cages, Provided They’re Sent Back To ‘Shithole’ Countries They Came From
The Biden White House is now under brutal scrutiny after Republicans have suddenly demanded that immigrants be treated more humanely until they can be “shipped back to whatever shithole country they came from.” The calls for humanitarian change comes despite … Continue reading Republicans Call For Humane Treatment Of Kids In Cages, Provided They’re Sent Back To ‘Shithole’ Countries They Came From