Trump sends $1.3 billion in hurricane relief to help protect “Florida Man” constituency

YouReadyGrandma

The swing state of Florida, which is home to the notorious “Florida Man” constituency, is about to be hit by category-4 Hurricane Dorian. In an attempt to keep as many of his inept voters alive and happy, President Trump is sending $1.3 billion in disaster relief to the state. “Without the Florida Man vote we won’t be able to win in 2020,” Trump campaign manager Brad Parscale confirmed. “Like much of our base, these magnificent creatures are highly driven, skittish and vapid men, so we’ll do everything we can to protect The Sunshine State.” Advertisements

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A Face-Licking Epidemic is Freaking Out Floridians

YouReadyGrandma

“Oakley’s actions have thrown open the closet doors for individuals who are aroused by licking things to claim them as their own,”

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