Trump Repeatedly Flushed Official Documents Down The Toilet & Flooded The Oval Office

Maggie Haberman’s new book “Confidence Man: The Making of Donald Trump and the Breaking of America” reveals that throughout the Trump presidency White House staff would find documents clogging the toilet adjacent to the Oval Office – sometimes resulting in … Continue reading Trump Repeatedly Flushed Official Documents Down The Toilet & Flooded The Oval Office

Canadian Trucker Protest Enters 9th Day Of Hurling Insults Followed By Immediate, Heartfelt Apologies

Widely regarded as one of the most passive-aggressive protests in history, Truckers against vaccine mandates in Ottowa, Canada have entered their ninth day of hurling insults and then immediately issuing heartfelt apologies. “I’m sorry, but we’re quite livid. This is … Continue reading Canadian Trucker Protest Enters 9th Day Of Hurling Insults Followed By Immediate, Heartfelt Apologies

NC Rep. Cawthorn Says Biden Could Send People Door-To-Door To Confiscate Bibles and Guns

North Carolina Representative Cawthorn Says Biden Could Send People Door-To-Door To Confiscate Bibles & Guns

North Carolina Republican Madison Cawthorn told audience members at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) today that the process of going door-to-door to inform Americans about vaccinations could also be used to take citizens’ guns and bibles. Here’s what people … Continue reading North Carolina Representative Cawthorn Says Biden Could Send People Door-To-Door To Confiscate Bibles & Guns

Insurrectionist Who’s Mad US Military Will Defend Country From Him Is Demanding Access To F-15’s, Nukes

President Joe Biden delivered a speech today in which he stated that if more insurrectionists wanted to try to take down the government that they would need weapons such as F-15’s and nukes to even have a chance against the … Continue reading Insurrectionist Who’s Mad US Military Will Defend Country From Him Is Demanding Access To F-15’s, Nukes

do i really need another 10 billion jeff bezos grins laughs maniacally in mirror

‘C’mon Jeff, Do You Really Need Another $10 Billion?’ Bezos Asks Himself Before Slowly Grinning, Laughing Maniacally In Mirror

Despite having already accumulated over $188 billion in wealth, an amendment has been added to legislation in the US Senate that will allow Jeff Bezos to receive another $10 billion from NASA — money that will most likely go directly toward … Continue reading ‘C’mon Jeff, Do You Really Need Another $10 Billion?’ Bezos Asks Himself Before Slowly Grinning, Laughing Maniacally In Mirror

Melania Avoids Donald After Learning ‘Sex With Demons Causes Disease’

President Trump shared a video on Twitter yesterday featuring a doctor named Stella Immanuel who claimed that she’s cured COVID-19 with hydroxychloroquine. Within minutes of posting the video, it was revealed that Dr. Immanuel also believes that having sexual intercourse … Continue reading Melania Avoids Donald After Learning ‘Sex With Demons Causes Disease’

Social media government watch list started under trump

Breaking: New Trump Rules on Social Media Could Land You on a Government Watch List

With an early version of the president’s latest executive order having been shown to the press, reporters are now saying that Donald Trump plans to create “government watch lists” based on how users interact and behave on social media. Trump … Continue reading Breaking: New Trump Rules on Social Media Could Land You on a Government Watch List

Trump Says Americans Should ‘Just Ask Their Dad’ For Rent Money

With more than 30 million people having filed for unemployment since mid-March, and countless more Americans having a hard time making ends meet, president Trump told reporters today that those in need of assistance should simply ask their dad for … Continue reading Trump Says Americans Should ‘Just Ask Their Dad’ For Rent Money

Protesters Set Up ‘COVID Kissing Booths’ in the Face of Government Warnings

Sporting vibrant red lipstick and holding up signs offering free kisses, countless protesters in Huntington Beach, California and Springfield, Illinois completely ignored government social distancing rules over the weekend by gathering together and passionately planting kisses on one another. “This … Continue reading Protesters Set Up ‘COVID Kissing Booths’ in the Face of Government Warnings

Next COVID-19 Stimulus Package to Include $320 Million for a Federal Toilet Paper Buyback Program

With toilet paper shortages across the country, the federal government has approved $320 million to be used to buy back toilet paper from countless Americans who purchased way too much during the onset of the pandemic. The move to set … Continue reading Next COVID-19 Stimulus Package to Include $320 Million for a Federal Toilet Paper Buyback Program

Congress Passes Resolution to Completely Ignore Middle East

“The $85 billion we save a year will go toward green energy, education, infrastructure and ending homelessness in America.” Continue reading Congress Passes Resolution to Completely Ignore Middle East

Toys 'R' Us lands $16 million defense contract to monitor Canadian border with drones

Toys ‘R’ Us lands $16 million defense contract to monitor Canadian border with drones

(Infographics provided by White House) They’re back from the dead! Big box store Toys ‘R’ Us, who declared bankruptcy just last year, has signed a $16 million deal to supply the US government with drones to police the northern border. … Continue reading Toys ‘R’ Us lands $16 million defense contract to monitor Canadian border with drones

US Dept. Of Health: ‘Never Stick Anything Larger than a Grapefruit Up Your Butt’

“Remember, we’re only talking about girth. So if you wanted to tape 7 oversized grapefruits together and play hide the citrus in your [expletive], you could absolutely do that.” Secretary Alex Azar stated. Continue reading US Dept. Of Health: ‘Never Stick Anything Larger than a Grapefruit Up Your Butt’