Trump Eats 17 McDonald’s Apple Pies for Pi Day

“Mr. Trump rationalized eating 17 apple pies before vomiting all over himself and his desk. It makes sense to us, but we don’t expect the mainstream media to get it.” – Sarah Huckabee Sanders

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Trump’s High School Revokes GED

“We estimate that the president stopped caring about the English language at, or around, the 4th grade.”