The newly-ousted former head of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg told reporters through teary eyes today that he had likely been permanently banned from his own social media platform and company. Zuckerberg, who stole the Facebook platform back in January of 2004, … Continue reading Mark Zuckerberg Banned & Fired From Facebook For Post After His Own AI Takes Over Company
Brazil soccer enthusiast Pedro Silva says his Tinder profile was banned today after the dating app announced it would no longer allow soccer fans to have an account. Experts say that Silva is among the more than 3.4 billion people … Continue reading Tinder Bans All Soccer Fans For Seeking Slow, Boring Relationships With Little To No Scoring
With strict abortion bans going into effect in 13 states, baby oil manufacturers and suppliers are sounding the alarm that a product shortage is unavoidable due to an abrupt drop in the amount of aborted fetuses available to squeeze the … Continue reading Experts Warn Of ‘Huge Baby Oil Shortage’ After Bans On Abortion Result In Fewer Fetuses To Squeeze Juices From
Elon Musk lost millions of Twitter followers today after he enacted an application-wide ban on bot accounts which accidentally included a wiping-out of generic-looking bros with the same picture. The mistake came just hours after Musk tweeted “The bots are … Continue reading Elon Musk Loses 100 Million Followers After Ban On Twitter Bot Accounts Accidentally Includes Generic Bros With Same Picture
(Milwaukee, WI) Local man James Fielder, who firmly believes that the United States is the best country on the planet, refuses to ever leave his house without bringing at least two guns with him. “I carry these weapons in public … Continue reading Man Who Says US Is Greatest Country On Earth Can’t Step Out Front Door Without Being Armed For Combat
“I’m no longer a Christian nationalist. I now want to be called a white nationalist,” Greene told her stunned colleagues. “It’s a no-brainer. I’m white and I’m a nationalist. So it just makes sense to call myself a white nationalist!” Continue reading Marjorie Taylor Greene Says She’s No Longer A Christian Nationalist After Learning The Bible Uses Pronouns
Shortages of baby formula are impacting parents across the country. Due to these conditions, San Francisco is now allowing parents to abort their kids after they have already been born. “This move comes in anticipation of babies dying of starvation,” … Continue reading San Francisco Legalizes Post-Birth Abortions Due To Baby Formula Shortage
“We banned him for a reason, so we’re not letting that piece of shit back on here in any way, shape or form.” Continue reading Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat & Pinterest Ban All Content From Trump’s Truth Social On Their Platforms
Despite clearing their browser histories, Ron DeSantis and dozens of fellow Florida republicans are having an extremely difficult time getting themselves to stop thinking about gay kids. “Anything relating to the queers has to be considered sexual; even their very … Continue reading Despite Clearing Browser Histories, FL Republicans Still Unable To Stop Thinking About Gay Kids
Representative Matt Krause (R-TX) has compiled a list of 850 books that he wants to ban in schools. Krause says the books in question “might make students feel discomfort, guilt, anguish, or any other form of psychological distress because of … Continue reading TX Republican To Ban 850 Books That ‘Could Make Students Feel Uneasy’
Fast food restaurants are fully-staffed once again after popular porn site Only Fans announced today that it will no longer be allowing sexual content on their platform. Here’s what people are saying: McDonald’s photo credit Paul Sableman Continue reading Fast Food Restaurants Back To Being Fully-Staffed After Only Fans Bans Sexual Content
The NFL announced that it will be taking a more firm stance against taunting this season, including trash talking and making certain gestures toward opposing players. In addition to the tightening of the rule, the league will also continue to … Continue reading NFL’S Ban On Taunting Leaves Fans Unsure How To Teach Kids To Mock & Jeer At Others
US Catholic bishops approved the creation of a new official document today that would ban politicians who support abortion rights from receiving Communion. President Joe Biden, who would be barred from the sacrament, gave a brief statement on the issue … Continue reading Biden Says He’ll ‘Just Bring Some Wheat Thins’ If Church Bans Him From Receiving Communion
Facebook will make a controversial decision tomorrow: Will they reinstate former president Donald J. Trump, or permanently ban him from their platform? The social media giant initially banned Trump in January after he personally sparked a riot at the US … Continue reading Facebook Will Rule On Reinstatement Of Trump Tomorrow. Here’s How They’ll Decide
Hundreds of pigeons bearing handwritten messages from Donald Trump were released from the White House today after Trump was banned from Twitter and nearly every other social media site. The president – who was annoyed by the birds flying around … Continue reading Trump Frantically Ties Hundreds of Handwritten ‘Tweets’ to Pigeons
President Trump put out a statement today in which he said he would be banning all dating apps with an executive order in the coming week. The move comes after experts found that random sexual encounters were fueling the pandemic. … Continue reading Trump to Ban Dating Apps as Fauci Calls For ‘Slut Shaming’ to Curb Pandemic
Advertised as the answer to free speech suppression on social media, Parler has outpaced every other two-star rated app designed for people who want to share racist, sexist, and homophobic content without repercussions. Parler, which exists as a rejection of … Continue reading Parler App Quickly Becomes #1 Racist Content Repository
