Trump Bans Guns After They Steal Spotlight From Him, Again

Law now outlaws sale of guns in America.

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Mike Pence Banned From Grindr

“Our first guideline for all users is that you cannot use nude photos in your profile, so that was strike one.”

Indiana Passes Law to Build Border Fence in Response to Travel Bans

In his official comments on the passage of the new fence bill, Pence stated that this would it make a statement telling other states to “butt out of Indiana politics,” but also, it would “add hundreds of thousands of minimum wage jobs for the state and effectively negate the effects of major companies and events leaving or boycotting Indiana.”

Plastic Bags Banned in Lexington, Kentucky

“We need to seriously reduce the amount of plastic-related deaths in Lexington,” Connor said.

The Lexington ban will leave ‘breathable’ paper bags as the only option for local residents. Restrictions on bags include all sizes of plastic trash/garbage bags, clear Ziplock bags, slider grip bags, and, – at Connors request – laboratory mini-grip re-sealing bags and specimen transportation bags.