“We know it is hard for Mr. McConnell to have to abort the bill right here on the Senate floor, but Democrats are truly supportive of the decision.”
Authorities have confirmed that Y’all-Qaeda leadership has ties to a Mississippi terror cell referred to as Talabangelicals who are also complete [expletive].
The ban is estimated to block 82.6 million US citizens from service and dishonorably discharge another 1.7 million Americans from the military.
“The only sexual contact permitted in China for the foreseeable future will be homosexual in nature,” President Jinping stated while intertwining his fingers with NBA star Yao Ming.
“If you’re banned you’ll be relocated to a garbage island off the coast of New Jersey.” – Nancy Pelosi
“We do strongly prefer that they be handed over as they’ll be repurposed as thrusting devices in sex toys.”
Law now outlaws sale of guns in America.
“Our first guideline for all users is that you cannot use nude photos in your profile, so that was strike one.”
Our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who wants to purchase more military-grade weapons.
After procedural introduction of the bill, Ted Cruz (R-TX) immediately shouted, “Permission to speak freely!?” in an echoing, emotional, yet somehow guttural and primal tone.
In his official comments on the passage of the new fence bill, Pence stated that this would it make a statement telling other states to “butt out of Indiana politics,” but also, it would “add hundreds of thousands of minimum wage jobs for the state and effectively negate the effects of major companies and events leaving or boycotting Indiana.”
“We need to seriously reduce the amount of plastic-related deaths in Lexington,” Connor said.
The Lexington ban will leave ‘breathable’ paper bags as the only option for local residents. Restrictions on bags include all sizes of plastic trash/garbage bags, clear Ziplock bags, slider grip bags, and, – at Connors request – laboratory mini-grip re-sealing bags and specimen transportation bags.