Trade War: China no longer shipping sex dolls to the United States

In the midst of the ongoing US-China trade war, China has announced that they will no longer be shipping sex dolls to the United States. Known for their hightech, lifelike robots, China will now force Americans to interact with other people in order to recreate a realistic, robotic sexual experience. The sex doll shipping ban has already started a popular trend among US citizens of speaking like an android during foreplay and then roleplaying as robots all the way to climax. Advertisements

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Trump Ends Capitalism in The United States

YouReadyGrandma

Maybe I give some intellectual property to China and maybe in return they build me a wall on the border using those Nike worker children. Can we do this? I don’t know folks, but we’re going to try.”

China Bans Heterosexual Sex Over Population Concerns

YouReadyGrandma

“The only sexual contact permitted in China for the foreseeable future will be homosexual in nature,” President Jinping stated while intertwining his fingers with NBA star Yao Ming.