The Supreme Court Has Handed Trump Dictator Powers: What the Military Does Next Will Decide America’s Future

In 1933, Hitler used the Reichstag Fire Decree to declare an emergency, suspend civil liberties, sideline parliament, and consolidate absolute power. Today, Trump’s Supreme Court is enabling the same authoritarian outcome: rubber-stamping his overreach, declaring him above the law, and … Continue reading The Supreme Court Has Handed Trump Dictator Powers: What the Military Does Next Will Decide America’s Future

IRS Accidentally Bans Churches From Endorsing Republicans By Requiring Valid Religious Reasons

Trump Supporters Burn Bibles After Finally Learning What Jesus Would Do The IRS is facing backlash from Republicans after announcing that churches may only endorse political candidates without being taxed if they can cite valid religious reasons from their holy … Continue reading IRS Accidentally Bans Churches From Endorsing Republicans By Requiring Valid Religious Reasons

Study Finds 83% of ICE Agents Took the Job Because Raids Are the Only Time They Get to Touch Women

2 in 3 ICE Hires Came From Targeted Ads on Dating Apps for Men With Zero Matches Lynchburg, Virginia — A new study released by Liberty University reveals that over 80% of Immigration & Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents chose the … Continue reading Study Finds 83% of ICE Agents Took the Job Because Raids Are the Only Time They Get to Touch Women

Your Boss Doesn’t Care You’re Broke: That’s the Business Model

Employers are fully aware that their workers are struggling to afford rent, food, healthcare, and basic stability. This isn’t a mystery. The reality is that: You’re not imagining it, and you’re not wrong to be angry. On top of this, … Continue reading Your Boss Doesn’t Care You’re Broke: That’s the Business Model

Trump Launches ‘NARC Act’: Undocumented Whites Offered Citizenship for Turning in Darker Immigrants

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a controversial new initiative, President Trump has launched the NARC Act (National Asylum Reward for Caucasians), offering citizenship to undocumented white immigrants who help ICE identify and deport browner illegal immigrants. The initiative was originally named the … Continue reading Trump Launches ‘NARC Act’: Undocumented Whites Offered Citizenship for Turning in Darker Immigrants

Trump Says Big Mac Cheese Mustache Was ‘Intentional’ During Executive Order Signing

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a grotesque spectacle, President Donald Trump is defending his now-viral Big Mac cheese mustache he wore while signing executive orders that targeted sanctuary cities, insisting the look was entirely “intentional.” Reporters were quick to point out … Continue reading Trump Says Big Mac Cheese Mustache Was ‘Intentional’ During Executive Order Signing

Makes ‘English Limited to 5th Grade Level’ Official Language of U.S.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold move to “simplify communication across America,” President Donald Trump has signed an executive order declaring that all spoken word, news, television, and publications must be stated or written in “fifth-grade English or lower.” “This … Continue reading Makes ‘English Limited to 5th Grade Level’ Official Language of U.S.

Trump Dismantles DOJ: ‘It’s Now the Department of Just Us, Only Me and Elon’

In a move that’s shocked constitutional scholars, President Trump announced late Sunday night that the Department of Justice has officially been dissolved.  Gone are the days of the DOJ standing in the way of his personal goals. In its place? … Continue reading Trump Dismantles DOJ: ‘It’s Now the Department of Just Us, Only Me and Elon’

Trump Says “Pope Francis is Possessed” After Leader of Church Condemns His Policies

In a fiery new rant, former President Donald Trump has claimed that Pope Francis is “possessed by a demon,” following the Vatican leader’s condemnation of several Trump administration policies. The Pope, who is known for advocating for social justice, peace, … Continue reading Trump Says “Pope Francis is Possessed” After Leader of Church Condemns His Policies

BREAKING: Trump to Call Super Bowl with Tom Brady in Surprise Live Broadcast: “Too Many Foreign Names on the Field, If You Ask Me”

President Donald Trump is set to join NFL legend Tom Brady in the broadcast booth for at least part of Super Bowl LIX, providing what he calls “the greatest, most tremendous live game analysis in history!” The surprise, last-minute announcement … Continue reading BREAKING: Trump to Call Super Bowl with Tom Brady in Surprise Live Broadcast: “Too Many Foreign Names on the Field, If You Ask Me”

Massive Recall Issued After Drivers Report Teslas Jerking Sharply To The Reich

Continue reading Massive Recall Issued After Drivers Report Teslas Jerking Sharply To The Reich

California Law Forces Churches to Paint Statues of White Jesus With Blackface Due to Historical & Racial Inaccuracies

California has forced churches to start repainting statues of Jesus in which the religious figure is depicted with white skin. The move comes after a large group of leftist historians pointed out that Jesus couldn’t have possibly been white and … Continue reading California Law Forces Churches to Paint Statues of White Jesus With Blackface Due to Historical & Racial Inaccuracies

Trump’s New Gene Testing Initiative Will Preemptively Arrest ‘Ethnic Babies’ With ‘Bad DNA’

Trump added that babies from Scandinavian countries would be automatically exempt from testing, claiming, “They have great genes—very clean, very hardworking. But we’ll be keeping a close eye on the others.” Continue reading Trump’s New Gene Testing Initiative Will Preemptively Arrest ‘Ethnic Babies’ With ‘Bad DNA’

Only humble people are truly intelligent

If you’ve never questioned the biggest beliefs in your life, then you aren’t even living. It’s like playing a video game and refusing to level up. Even Mario knows you should give those mushrooms a try. This goes for religion, … Continue reading Only humble people are truly intelligent

New Alabama Law Sentences Teachers Who Talk About Slavery To Involuntary Servitude

Alabama Governor Kay Ivey signed a bill into law today that will place any public school teachers who teach students about slavery into involuntary servitude programs. “There is not place for discussing slavery in Alabama schools. The past is in … Continue reading New Alabama Law Sentences Teachers Who Talk About Slavery To Involuntary Servitude

Kyle Rittenhouse, Casey Anthony & OJ Simpson Raising Money To Sue Media For Defamation

Famous murder trial defendants Kyle Rittenhouse, Casey Anthony and OJ Simpson have joined forces in a new fundraising initiative called The Media Accountability Project. Rittenhouse says the money raised will help take certain media outlets and individuals to court to … Continue reading Kyle Rittenhouse, Casey Anthony & OJ Simpson Raising Money To Sue Media For Defamation