Elizabeth Warren Recommends Changing Your Dreamcatcher Filter Every Spring

YouReadyGrandma

“My dreams became littered with terrifying sex monsters that attacked my lesbian lover Barb.” – Elizabeth Warren

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Washington Redskins Justify Keeping Name in 2019 by Drafting a Native American in the First Round

YouReadyGrandma

“The Washington Redskins select any Native American. That’s right. Any. Just send anyone, but preferably someone athletic or okay with doing commercials.”

Tucker Carlson Forgets to Remove Klan Robe, Walks On to Set of Fox & Friends

YouReadyGrandma

“None of them seemed phased by Carlson. It was like the [expletive] Twilight Zone.”

Tostitos Releases Extreme Mild Salsa For White People

YouReadyGrandma

Tostitos describes their new Extreme Mild Clear Salsa for White People® as being a thick, gelatinous substance for those with genetic spice sensitivities.

Glenn Beck Converts to Islam, Burns Down Notre Dame Cathedral

YouReadyGrandma

“You won’t hear about this, but I burned down the Notre Dame Cathedral,” Beck confirmed live on Fox & Friends. “This was France’s 9/11 and if I weren’t there to see it firsthand, you’d never know it was me: Glenn Beck, a casual, disposable, everyday Islamic terrorist.”

Failing Papa John’s Hires Shaquille O’Neal to Eat Most of Their Pizzas

YouReadyGrandma

“Papa John’s confirms that Shaq will be allowed to say the N-word at his discretion within his seven contracted advertisements.”

Trump: “We All Know I Would Never Kiss a Black Woman”

YouReadyGrandma

“This isn’t about racism,” Trump stated. “It’s about my tiny dick.”

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