In response, Sam’s Club announced they will be selling “everything necessary to create an elaborate sex dungeon” by July.
We can’t have Canada smelling like burnt, used condoms anymore,” Prime Minister Justin Trudeau stated.
“At least 87% of lotion used by men is vigorously rubbed on less than 1% of their bodies.”
“Remember, we’re only talking about girth. So if you wanted to tape 7 oversized grapefruits together and play hide the citrus in your [expletive], you could absolutely do that.” Secretary Alex Azar stated.
The former FBI Director enrolled in a pottery class Anderson Cooper attends in an attempt to get him to sit in between his legs while whispering key findings in his ear.
“It’s sad to think how much we could have achieved if we hadn’t installed so much BDSM programming.”
“Oakley’s actions have thrown open the closet doors for individuals who are aroused by licking things to claim them as their own,”