Retired Pope Benedict breaks silence on blue balls, wet dreams in Church life, and nobody wants to hear it

YouReadyGrandma

Former Pope Benedict released his new book today entitled From the Depths of Our Loins: Silk Boxers & Swollen Balls. The book aims to educate the public on the sexual struggles that come with being a clergyman. What do you think? “So that’s disgusting.” – Julia Lorrens, Health Teacher “Unless it comes with advice on how to get this old pecker pumping, I’m not interested.” – Harold Higgins, Pharmaceutical Sales Rep. “I just wear silk boxers and go for a jog. Blue balls solved!” – Justin Parks, Asexual Stripper photo credit manhhai Advertisements

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Inclusion: Merriam-Webster names “they” word of the year

YouReadyGrandma

The word “they” has been named Merriam-Webster’s word of the year after an incredible spike in its usage in 2019. Notably, the term has been expanded to “refer to a single person whose gender identity is nonbinary.” What do you think?

Mark Ronson comes out as trysexual

YouReadyGrandma

Award-winning singer/songwriter Mark Ronson came out as trysexual today – meaning he’ll try anything in the bedroom with sexual partners. “It doesn’t matter how nasty the act is, I’ll try it,” Ronson smiled. “You name it, I’ve done it, or I’m probably about to.” Ronson added that being trysexual means he gives every fetish “three good ol’ fashioned tries” before he can decide to never do it again.

Target Adds BDSM Section Next to Electronics

YouReadyGrandma

In response, Sam’s Club announced they will be selling “everything necessary to create an elaborate sex dungeon” by July.

Canada Will Ban All Single-Use Condoms by 2021

YouReadyGrandma

We can’t have Canada smelling like burnt, used condoms anymore,” Prime Minister Justin Trudeau stated.

Study: Guys Use 3X More Lotion Than Girls, and Yes, You Know Why

“At least 87% of lotion used by men is vigorously rubbed on less than 1% of their bodies.”

US Dept. Of Health: ‘Never Stick Anything Larger than a Grapefruit Up Your Butt’

“Remember, we’re only talking about girth. So if you wanted to tape 7 oversized grapefruits together and play hide the citrus in your [expletive], you could absolutely do that.” Secretary Alex Azar stated.

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