“You can rest assured that somewhere, in an existing but undetectable universe, another version of you is out there having a meaningful, fulfilling life.”
An executive order from the desk of President Trump has put an end to genetically-modified, cyborg baby programs.
“Science has confirmed that you all can shut the [expletive] up about it.”
“Contrary to popular belief, fingerlike appendages do not exit the butt and press on the phone screen, that’s poop you’re thinking of.”
“We estimate that the president stopped caring about the English language at, or around, the 4th grade.”
“This lengthy, intricate study was conducted by the folks at the Harvard Center for Brain Science and incorporated proven Penis Responsiveness Technology (PRT) and Brainwave Function Reading (BFR) from leading scientists from the Biomimetic Robotics Lab at MIT.”
“It’s sad to think how much we could have achieved if we hadn’t installed so much BDSM programming.”
“I’ve been calling it ‘Global Warming,’ but that’s just a trick folks; a term I use to make snowball jokes. My God, I’m so stupid.”
Tyson offered a confusingly graphic, yet scientific explanation.
“Now it will look like you want to pay attention to your baby.”
This surprising move by Dawkins was nothing short of shocking as he has repeatedly made fun of those with religious beliefs for years. In the interview, Dawkins reportedly stated the following:
For years now you always thought your opinions and worldview were accurate, but now you can say, without a doubt, you are scientifically proven to always be in the right.
Hey there, it’s me, Focus on the Family. Just uhhhh…. well there’s no easy way to say this. I was minding my business the other day when I decided I would take a peek in a window or three… five, who’s counting right?…