Unimpressed: Richard Branson Said He Was ‘Over Space’ Only Seconds Into Weightlessness

Sources are reporting that billionaire Richard Branson quickly became bored with today’s space flight just seconds after passengers began experiencing weightlessness.

“The spaceship was at the top of its flight path, 50-plus miles high, suspended in weightlessness while allowing the passengers to enjoy panoramic views of the Earth and space,” a source stated. “And then Branson just yells out ‘Boring! Over It! I’d rather motorboat some boobs!’ while crossing his arms and turning to face a wall.”

When reached for comment, Branson denied having said anything about not liking space, but he did say he would “no longer pursue space travel.”

“Maybe I’ll get into exploring the ocean instead. You know they say more than 80% of it hasn’t even been seen by the human eye,” Branson stated. “When you really think about it, the ocean is actually just a wet outer space.”

Those close to Branson say it’s not uncommon for him to change his mind on a whim.

“Branson’s a fickle man with a very short attention span,” the source stated. “Why do you think Virgin owns more than 400 companies? Why do you think he has dabbled in airlines, record labels, radio stations, hotels, space travel and more?”

As of press time the US government was already budgeting billions of dollars to fund the billionaire’s new undersea adventure.

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