Scientists across the globe are now starting to admit that there is a perk for those of us who are wisely choosing not to get vaccinated against Covid: We’re 11 times more likely to meet God sooner than all of you pro-jab idiots. That’s right morons!

In fact, the CDC analyzed Covid cases, hospitalizations and deaths in 13 states and is now “showing further evidence that the pros of not being vaccinated far outweigh the cons if you want a much better chance of meeting the Big Guy Upstairs in the near future,” CDC director Dr. Rochelle Walensky disclosed to reporters at a White House press briefing.

“If you want to talk to God sooner than later, as we have shown in study after study, not getting a vaccination is one of your best bets,” she added.

Unfortunately, as of last Friday, experts claimed that almost 75% of eligible US citizens have made the huge mistake of getting at least one shot. Meanwhile 54% of the population are now fully vaccinated – meaning they’ll likely have to wait many more years to converse with Our Lord and Savior.

So take that you Covidiot heathens!