Bewildered Hurricane Responders Begin Arduous Task of ‘Moving Everything 10 Feet to the Right’

“Honestly, I think we’re just going to move every piece of debris 10 feet to the right and see if that helps,” Long stated. Continue reading Bewildered Hurricane Responders Begin Arduous Task of ‘Moving Everything 10 Feet to the Right’

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Columbus Day: Exxon Discovers, Spills Oil on Native American Land

Dawn has sent 5,500 bottles of soap to help clean thousands of Native Americans who are now covered in oil. Continue reading Columbus Day: Exxon Discovers, Spills Oil on Native American Land

Trump Blasts Green Energy, Obama for ‘Unseasonably Dark Day’

“When you get a maniac like Obama. Okay. And he is, he really is. Then you end up with days like today,” Trump stated while pointing toward the only side of the room without any windows. Continue reading Trump Blasts Green Energy, Obama for ‘Unseasonably Dark Day’

Strict ‘No Farting’ Policy Enforced in White House

President Donald Trump used a morning staff meeting today to address leaks that have plagued his administration since day one. In an impassioned speech, the President touched on many topics – concluding with the implementation of a strict ‘No Farting’ … Continue reading Strict ‘No Farting’ Policy Enforced in White House