The Supreme Court Has Handed Trump Dictator Powers: What the Military Does Next Will Decide America’s Future

In 1933, Hitler used the Reichstag Fire Decree to declare an emergency, suspend civil liberties, sideline parliament, and consolidate absolute power. Today, Trump’s Supreme Court is enabling the same authoritarian outcome: rubber-stamping his overreach, declaring him above the law, and … Continue reading The Supreme Court Has Handed Trump Dictator Powers: What the Military Does Next Will Decide America’s Future

IRS Accidentally Bans Churches From Endorsing Republicans By Requiring Valid Religious Reasons

Trump Supporters Burn Bibles After Finally Learning What Jesus Would Do The IRS is facing backlash from Republicans after announcing that churches may only endorse political candidates without being taxed if they can cite valid religious reasons from their holy … Continue reading IRS Accidentally Bans Churches From Endorsing Republicans By Requiring Valid Religious Reasons

Trump Launches ‘NARC Act’: Undocumented Whites Offered Citizenship for Turning in Darker Immigrants

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a controversial new initiative, President Trump has launched the NARC Act (National Asylum Reward for Caucasians), offering citizenship to undocumented white immigrants who help ICE identify and deport browner illegal immigrants. The initiative was originally named the … Continue reading Trump Launches ‘NARC Act’: Undocumented Whites Offered Citizenship for Turning in Darker Immigrants

Makes ‘English Limited to 5th Grade Level’ Official Language of U.S.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold move to “simplify communication across America,” President Donald Trump has signed an executive order declaring that all spoken word, news, television, and publications must be stated or written in “fifth-grade English or lower.” “This … Continue reading Makes ‘English Limited to 5th Grade Level’ Official Language of U.S.

Trump Dismantles DOJ: ‘It’s Now the Department of Just Us, Only Me and Elon’

In a move that’s shocked constitutional scholars, President Trump announced late Sunday night that the Department of Justice has officially been dissolved.  Gone are the days of the DOJ standing in the way of his personal goals. In its place? … Continue reading Trump Dismantles DOJ: ‘It’s Now the Department of Just Us, Only Me and Elon’

Trump Says “Pope Francis is Possessed” After Leader of Church Condemns His Policies

In a fiery new rant, former President Donald Trump has claimed that Pope Francis is “possessed by a demon,” following the Vatican leader’s condemnation of several Trump administration policies. The Pope, who is known for advocating for social justice, peace, … Continue reading Trump Says “Pope Francis is Possessed” After Leader of Church Condemns His Policies

BREAKING: Trump to Call Super Bowl with Tom Brady in Surprise Live Broadcast: “Too Many Foreign Names on the Field, If You Ask Me”

President Donald Trump is set to join NFL legend Tom Brady in the broadcast booth for at least part of Super Bowl LIX, providing what he calls “the greatest, most tremendous live game analysis in history!” The surprise, last-minute announcement … Continue reading BREAKING: Trump to Call Super Bowl with Tom Brady in Surprise Live Broadcast: “Too Many Foreign Names on the Field, If You Ask Me”

Kamala Harris Announces Student Loan Forgiveness For All Residents In Swing States She Wins

In a bold counter to Elon Musk’s ‘Cash for Votes’ scheme, Kamala Harris has introduced an innovative idea: complete student loan forgiveness for anyone living in a swing state that she wins during the Presidential election. “Those in key swing … Continue reading Kamala Harris Announces Student Loan Forgiveness For All Residents In Swing States She Wins

California Law Forces Churches to Paint Statues of White Jesus With Blackface Due to Historical & Racial Inaccuracies

California has forced churches to start repainting statues of Jesus in which the religious figure is depicted with white skin. The move comes after a large group of leftist historians pointed out that Jesus couldn’t have possibly been white and … Continue reading California Law Forces Churches to Paint Statues of White Jesus With Blackface Due to Historical & Racial Inaccuracies

Trump’s New Gene Testing Initiative Will Preemptively Arrest ‘Ethnic Babies’ With ‘Bad DNA’

Trump added that babies from Scandinavian countries would be automatically exempt from testing, claiming, “They have great genes—very clean, very hardworking. But we’ll be keeping a close eye on the others.” Continue reading Trump’s New Gene Testing Initiative Will Preemptively Arrest ‘Ethnic Babies’ With ‘Bad DNA’

Marjorie Taylor Greene is a White Nationalist Former Christian Nationalist

Marjorie Taylor Greene Says She’s No Longer A Christian Nationalist After Learning The Bible Uses Pronouns

“I’m no longer a Christian nationalist. I now want to be called a white nationalist,” Greene told her stunned colleagues. “It’s a no-brainer. I’m white and I’m a nationalist. So it just makes sense to call myself a white nationalist!” Continue reading Marjorie Taylor Greene Says She’s No Longer A Christian Nationalist After Learning The Bible Uses Pronouns

Kyle Rittenhouse, Casey Anthony & OJ Simpson Raising Money To Sue Media For Defamation

Famous murder trial defendants Kyle Rittenhouse, Casey Anthony and OJ Simpson have joined forces in a new fundraising initiative called The Media Accountability Project. Rittenhouse says the money raised will help take certain media outlets and individuals to court to … Continue reading Kyle Rittenhouse, Casey Anthony & OJ Simpson Raising Money To Sue Media For Defamation

California Might Decriminalize Running Over Protesters Ahead Of Super Bowl

California governor Gavin Newsom announced today that the state is considering passing an emergency law that can give complete immunity to drivers who strike and injure protesters with their cars on public streets. The move comes a day before a … Continue reading California Might Decriminalize Running Over Protesters Ahead Of Super Bowl

Despite Clearing Browser Histories, FL Republicans Still Unable To Stop Thinking About Gay Kids

Despite clearing their browser histories, Ron DeSantis and dozens of fellow Florida republicans are having an extremely difficult time getting themselves to stop thinking about gay kids. “Anything relating to the queers has to be considered sexual; even their very … Continue reading Despite Clearing Browser Histories, FL Republicans Still Unable To Stop Thinking About Gay Kids

Joe Rogan Uses ‘Free Speech’ Segment To Celebrate Saying The ‘N-Word’ For His 25th Time On Air

Joe Rogan took a very brief break from spreading coronavirus disinformation on his podcast yesterday in order hold a 5-minute “segment on free speech” just so he could say the n-word for his 25th time on air. “I practice a … Continue reading Joe Rogan Uses ‘Free Speech’ Segment To Celebrate Saying The ‘N-Word’ For His 25th Time On Air

DeSantis Announces ‘Whites Organizing For KKKonservative Education’ – Or ‘W.O.K.E. Act’

Florida governor Ron DeSantis held a press conference today in which he announced a new bill called the ‘W.O.K.E Act’ – or Whites Organizing for KKKonservative Education. The governor said that he was taking a stand against critical race theory … Continue reading DeSantis Announces ‘Whites Organizing For KKKonservative Education’ – Or ‘W.O.K.E. Act’

TX Republican To Ban 850 Books That ‘Could Make Students Feel Uneasy’

Representative Matt Krause (R-TX) has compiled a list of 850 books that he wants to ban in schools. Krause says the books in question “might make students feel discomfort, guilt, anguish, or any other form of psychological distress because of … Continue reading TX Republican To Ban 850 Books That ‘Could Make Students Feel Uneasy’

Trans People Not Oppressed Enough To Be Left Alone By Dave Chappelle

Comedian Dave Chappelle is attempting to legitimize his new Netflix comedy special that focused almost entirely on disparaging transgender individuals. Chappelle gave a brief statement today. “Some minority groups haven’t suffered enough for me,” Chappelle grinned while taking a puff … Continue reading Trans People Not Oppressed Enough To Be Left Alone By Dave Chappelle