New Texas Law Will Outfit All School Staff With Everything A School Shooter Would Have

Texas Governor Greg Abbott announced today that a new law will soon be passed by the state which will fully-arm school staff with everything a school shooter could possibly bring with them during an attack. “You gotta make it a … Continue reading New Texas Law Will Outfit All School Staff With Everything A School Shooter Would Have

Republicans Tricked Into Supporting Gun Control After Democrats Start Calling Mass Shootings ‘Post-Birth Abortions’

After offering no real solutions for mass shootings in America for decades, Republicans have now been tricked into supporting gun control laws after Democrats began calling mass shootings “post-birth abortions” yesterday. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi gave a brief … Continue reading Republicans Tricked Into Supporting Gun Control After Democrats Start Calling Mass Shootings ‘Post-Birth Abortions’

San Francisco Legalizes Post-Birth Abortions Due To Baby Formula Shortage

Shortages of baby formula are impacting parents across the country. Due to these conditions, San Francisco is now allowing parents to abort their kids after they have already been born. “This move comes in anticipation of babies dying of starvation,” … Continue reading San Francisco Legalizes Post-Birth Abortions Due To Baby Formula Shortage

New Alabama Law Sentences Teachers Who Talk About Slavery To Involuntary Servitude

Alabama Governor Kay Ivey signed a bill into law today that will place any public school teachers who teach students about slavery into involuntary servitude programs. “There is not place for discussing slavery in Alabama schools. The past is in … Continue reading New Alabama Law Sentences Teachers Who Talk About Slavery To Involuntary Servitude

Study: Republicans Think Kids Being Aware Of ‘Straight’ Couples Is Fine, But Mentioning Gay People Is ‘Too Sexual’

A recent study by Harvard University shows that Republicans in the US strongly believe that mentioning the existence of any LGBTQ+ people to kids is inherently sexual and therefore inappropriate for them to hear about. The study comes at a … Continue reading Study: Republicans Think Kids Being Aware Of ‘Straight’ Couples Is Fine, But Mentioning Gay People Is ‘Too Sexual’

Supreme Court Says Web Designer Refusing To Serve LGBTQ+ Must Display “No Gays!” Sign In Window

The United States Supreme Court ruled today that Colorado web designer Lorie Smith, who is refusing to serve gay customers, must put a sign in her store window that reads “No Gays” or “Heterosexuals Only” if she wants to retain … Continue reading Supreme Court Says Web Designer Refusing To Serve LGBTQ+ Must Display “No Gays!” Sign In Window

San Francisco Bill Treats All Students As Gay Unless They ‘Come Out’ As Straight

A new bill focused on student gender and sexuality has been introduced in San Francisco, stirring up controversy in the Bay Area and around the country. If passed, the law would require teachers to assume that all students are part … Continue reading San Francisco Bill Treats All Students As Gay Unless They ‘Come Out’ As Straight

Judge Throws Out Sarah Palin Libel Case Because ‘Nobody Ever Knows What The Hell She’s Talking About’

U.S. District Court Judge Jed Rakoff, who is presiding over the Sarah Palin vs. New York Times libel trial, stunned those in the courtroom today when he abruptly threw out the entire case while Palin was on the stand. “None … Continue reading Judge Throws Out Sarah Palin Libel Case Because ‘Nobody Ever Knows What The Hell She’s Talking About’

Biden Down To Final Coin Flip To Determine Who He’ll Nominate To The Supreme Court

White House press secretary Jen Psaki accidentally told reporters today that President Joe Biden was selecting his nominee for Supreme Court justice by flipping a coin. “Mr. Biden will have a pick shortly. There’s just one more coin flip to … Continue reading Biden Down To Final Coin Flip To Determine Who He’ll Nominate To The Supreme Court

Texans Leave Hundreds Of Unwanted Babies On Governor Abbott’s Front Porch

Texas Governor Greg Abbott recently signed a bill into law that prevents abortions after the sixth week of pregnancy – much sooner than most women even know that they are pregnant. That law went into effect today. Under the law, … Continue reading Texans Leave Hundreds Of Unwanted Babies On Governor Abbott’s Front Porch

Trump Only Aware Of His Own System Of (Bounced) Checks & (Negative Account) Balances

Despite being president for four years, Donald Trump made it clear today that he still doesn’t know how the US government operates. Trump is livid that Brett Kavanaugh – who he nominated to the position of Supreme Court justice – … Continue reading Trump Only Aware Of His Own System Of (Bounced) Checks & (Negative Account) Balances

Heavily-Armed State Of Religious Zealots Encourages Citizens To Turn In Neighbors For Abortions

Heavily-Armed State Of Religious Extremists Commands Citizens To Spy & Turn In Neighbors For Abortions

A heavily-armed state full of religious zealots known as “Texas” has passed a new abortion law that would pay $10,000 to anyone who reports their fellow citizens for having an abortion after 6 weeks of pregnancy. The new law, which … Continue reading Heavily-Armed State Of Religious Extremists Commands Citizens To Spy & Turn In Neighbors For Abortions

New AZ Law Would Require Minorities To Complete Obstacle Course Before Casting Vote

Supreme Court: AZ Law Requiring Minorities To Complete Obstacle Course Before Voting Is Constitutional

The United States Supreme Court ruled today that an Arizona law requiring minorities to complete an obstacle course before voting is constitutional. Justice Roberts wrote the majority opinion in the 6-3 decision. “It’s perfectly acceptable for minorities, the elderly and … Continue reading Supreme Court: AZ Law Requiring Minorities To Complete Obstacle Course Before Voting Is Constitutional

Texas law would allow doctors to stop mother's heartbeat in order to listen for fetus'

Texas Law Would Allow Doctors To Stop Mother’s Heartbeat In Order To Listen For Fetus’

A new anti-abortion bill is close to becoming law in Texas after it passed 83-64 in the House yesterday. Senate Bill 8 would allow doctors to halt the hearts of pregnant women while they check to see if the fetus … Continue reading Texas Law Would Allow Doctors To Stop Mother’s Heartbeat In Order To Listen For Fetus’

Trump Defense Plays Damning Montage Of Democrats Participating In Fight Clubs and Mortal Kombats

Trump Lawyers Reveal Damning Images Of Democrats Participating In A ‘Fight Club’ On Capitol Grounds

During his second impeachment, Donald Trump’s lawyers revealed that they have “damning evidence” showing high-ranking Democrat leaders participating in an “underground fight club” in the basement of the Capitol building. “The Democrats are claiming that the violence at the Capitol … Continue reading Trump Lawyers Reveal Damning Images Of Democrats Participating In A ‘Fight Club’ On Capitol Grounds

Nancy Pelosi butthole waxed haircut blowout

Backdoor Business: Nancy Pelosi Caught Getting Anus Waxed Day After Blowout

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was caught on back to back days having businesses in San Francisco illegally style and remove hair from both her head and her anus. Pelosi says that she was tricked into receiving both services … Continue reading Backdoor Business: Nancy Pelosi Caught Getting Anus Waxed Day After Blowout