The bill was expected to pass unanimously, but has turned into an inexplicable, one-man filibuster by Ted Cruz.
The bill, which is entitled the ‘Act Legitimizing Morally Offensive Shootings Today,’ or A.L.M.O.S.T., will place restrictions on those selling guns after 37 mass shootings have taken place in the calendar year.
“I saw the whole thing. Very odd, very sad.” – Senator Bernie Sanders
“The hardest part for candidates will be trying not to laugh at the very things they claim to find offensive.”
“Patriotism, the military, and war are all inherently republican. We own them,” Sanders stated.
Elizabeth Warren announced today at a campaign rally that she is “ready and willing” to divorce her husband of 39 years and marry her “lifelong best friend Barb.”
“Crazy Bernie wants people working 40+ hours a week to be able to pay bills, not rely on our perfectly good government programs that the middle class funds. That’s crazy Bernie for ya. So Un-American folks!” – Trump