Indeed, it seems that poorer people, and those with some wealth and a heart, are able to scrape up money to help fund Sander's campaign. Ironically, these people

Freeloaders Donate Record Amount to Crazy Socialist Bernie Sanders

“Crazy Bernie wants people working 40+ hours a week to be able to pay bills, not rely on our perfectly good government programs that the middle class funds. That’s crazy Bernie for ya. So Un-American folks!” – Trump

Tragic Death Ends Trump Campaign

***BREAKING*** (Washington D.C.) The Republican National Committee is openly taking responsibility for the death of front runner presidential candidate Donald Trump. Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, immediately spoke out about the decision to kill the candidate. “We feel a loss. There’s no doubt about it,” stated Ryan. “We have hundreds of thousands – millions […]

Congress Passes Unprecidented Gun Control Law

Congress Passes Gun Control Law Limiting Mass Shootings to 37 Per Year

With a shocking amount of Republican support, a new law has finally been passed to address gun violence in America. The bill, which is entitled the ‘Act Legitimizing Morally Offensive Shootings Today,’ or A.L.M.O.S.T., will place restrictions on those selling guns after 37 mass shootings have taken place in the calendar year. Despite receiving close to […]

Obama Hits Milestone with 1000th Utterance of "Let me be clear"

Obama Hits Milestone with 1000th Utterance of “Let me be clear”

Today, the polling organization Gallup announced that President Barack Obama has officially uttered the phrase “let me be clear,” for the 1,000th time in a televised speech. Gallup Poll, which is known for their unbiased, informative polls is now facing criticism from many on the left for even monitoring such a fact. Keith Olbermann took […]

Plastic Bags Banned in Lexington, Kentucky

Plastic Bags Banned in Lexington, Kentucky

“We need to seriously reduce the amount of plastic-related deaths in Lexington,” Connor said.

The Lexington ban will leave ‘breathable’ paper bags as the only option for local residents. Restrictions on bags include all sizes of plastic trash/garbage bags, clear Ziplock bags, slider grip bags, and, – at Connors request – laboratory mini-grip re-sealing bags and specimen transportation bags.