The very brave, former Democrat Krysten Sinema decided to admit to her colleagues today that she is, in fact, an independent.
“This may come as a shock to some,” Sinema stated. “But I cannot be more honest when I say that this is who I’ve been the whole time. I’m still the same Krysten.”
Rumors are swirling that Sinema, who now says she identifies as Independent, has been spotted rubbing elbows with Republicans behind closed doors.
“We’ve had a few sessions in which it was very clear that Krysten was, at the very least, Republican-Curious,” Senator Mitch McConnell grinned before winking.
Meanwhile Democrats say they don’t buy what Sinema is saying.
“It’s been pretty obvious for awhile that Sinema has no real interest in being a Democrat. There were plenty of signs, and if we’re being honest, we always knew.” Nancy Pelosi told reporters. “So it comes as no surprise that Kyrsten is taking steps toward admitting that she has wanted to play exclusively for the other team this whole time.”
As of press time, Sinema said that she was upset by numerous congresspeople suggesting that she just identifies as “the thing that is most convenient at the time.”
“Krysten isn’t driven by whatever ideology she claims to identify with from day to day,” MSNBC host Rachel Maddow stated. “She’s just a whore for corporations and lobbyists that are willing to pay her to do dirty things in back rooms. She’s a shameless, opportunist partybaiter.”
Original photo credit Gage Skidmore