Trump Signs Executive Order Moving Christmas to the 4th of July

YouReadyGrandma

“What better way to show that the United States is a Christian nation than by celebrating Jesus’ crucifixion on America’s birthday!?” – President Donald J. Trump

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Staff Forces Joe Biden to Get Hair Plugs So He’ll Stop Smelling Women’s Hair

Biden’s hair came from his soundproof hobby room where he keeps his personal collection of real hair, mannequins and doll parts.

Mississippi Has Been Feeding Its Unsuspecting Residents Vegan, Plant-Based Protein Since 2009

“It’s safe to say that most residents of the state of Mississippi have been vegetarian, or close to it, since 2009.” – Governor Phil Bryant

President Jimmy Carter Says Melania Trump’s Boobs Were Put In Place By The Russians

“An investigation will show Melania’s knockers were implanted by the Russians to spy on our great nation.”

Reebok is Selling The New ‘Confederate CrossBurn’ Shoe to Attract Nike Boycotters

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Supreme Court Rules “Corporations Can Also Be Gay People”

“It’s Adam and Summer’s Eve, not Ben and Jerry; although, some Victoria’s Secret and Lane Bryant experimentation sounds intriguing,” Trump tweeted.

Southwest Airline’s ‘Take Your Snake to Work Day’ Backfires Horribly

“We’re asking that all passengers take a look in overhead storage and under their seats to avoid crushing the reptiles and to assist in their capture.”

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