“What better way to show that the United States is a Christian nation than by celebrating Jesus’ crucifixion on America’s birthday!?” – President Donald J. Trump
Biden’s hair came from his soundproof hobby room where he keeps his personal collection of real hair, mannequins and doll parts.
“It’s safe to say that most residents of the state of Mississippi have been vegetarian, or close to it, since 2009.” – Governor Phil Bryant
“An investigation will show Melania’s knockers were implanted by the Russians to spy on our great nation.”
“It’s Adam and Summer’s Eve, not Ben and Jerry; although, some Victoria’s Secret and Lane Bryant experimentation sounds intriguing,” Trump tweeted.
“We’re asking that all passengers take a look in overhead storage and under their seats to avoid crushing the reptiles and to assist in their capture.”