In a stunning move today the United States Congress passed a joint resolution that completely cuts off all connection to the Middle East.

The resolution, entitled the ‘Forgo Unnecessary Combat & Killing in the Middle East,’ was fondly referred to as the FUCK’m bill by members of congress.

“We’re pulling all troops, cutting economic ties and ending communication with their leaders,” Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi stated. “The $85 billion we save a year will go toward green energy, education, infrastructure and ending homelessness in America.”

“The FUCK’m bill will remain in effect for 10 years, after which we’ll check to see if they’ve finally got their shit together,” Pelosi concluded.

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