Unworthy, Trump burns hand on Medal of Honor while placing award on military dog

YouReadyGrandma

President Donald Trump was severely burned today when he accidentally touched the Medal of Honor with his unworthy hands. Trump was awarding the medal to Conan – the dog injured in Syria during the killing of ISIS leader Abu Baker – when the injury occurred. Advisors had already warned the president not to touch the prestigious award after witnessing the medal immediately kill a cockroach that had come in contact with it. Photo by David Holt Advertisements

Advertisements

Spirit Airlines Began Using Cargo Planes Over the Weekend Without Warning Passengers

YouReadyGrandma

Upon boarding planes over the weekend, customers immediately noticed that there were no seatbelts.

Everyone Who Used Snapchat’s Gender-Swap Filter is Now Banned From US Military

YouReadyGrandma

The ban is estimated to block 82.6 million US citizens from service and dishonorably discharge another 1.7 million Americans from the military.

US Announces ‘Whale Force’ Military Division

YouReadyGrandma

“We wanted to name it something to do with the color blue, because the ocean is blue, even from space. In the end we settled on Whale Force and I think that’s just fine.”

U.S. Veterans to Get Lifetime Supply of Gasoline

YouReadyGrandma

‘The number of homeless veterans wheeling hundreds of gallons of gasoline through bustling urban centers could be a huge safety problem.’

Controversial ‘We Ate a Zoo’ Sequel Coming to Theaters This Fall

The movie reaches its tipping point when Damon’s children begin to ask why their favorite pig ‘Oinkers’ has gone missing.

Schwarzenegger Identified as White House Intruder with “Backpack”

YouReadyGrandma

“Schwarzenegger was also not ‘carrying a backpack,’ he was actually strapped in to a military-grade jet pack.”

%d bloggers like this: