President Donald Trump was severely burned today when he accidentally touched the Medal of Honor with his unworthy hands. Trump was awarding the medal to Conan – the dog injured in Syria during the killing of ISIS leader Abu Baker – when the injury occurred. Advisors had already warned the president not to touch the prestigious award after witnessing the medal immediately kill a cockroach that had come in contact with it. Photo by David Holt Advertisements
Upon boarding planes over the weekend, customers immediately noticed that there were no seatbelts.
The ban is estimated to block 82.6 million US citizens from service and dishonorably discharge another 1.7 million Americans from the military.
“We wanted to name it something to do with the color blue, because the ocean is blue, even from space. In the end we settled on Whale Force and I think that’s just fine.”
‘The number of homeless veterans wheeling hundreds of gallons of gasoline through bustling urban centers could be a huge safety problem.’
The movie reaches its tipping point when Damon’s children begin to ask why their favorite pig ‘Oinkers’ has gone missing.
“Schwarzenegger was also not ‘carrying a backpack,’ he was actually strapped in to a military-grade jet pack.”