“What better way to show that the United States is a Christian nation than by celebrating Jesus’ crucifixion on America’s birthday!?” – President Donald J. Trump
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Christmas
Pope Francis Officially Moves Christmas 2019 to March
“Americans can expect to see Christmas decorations in stores for around 5 to 6 months out of the year.”
Starbucks Apologizes to Christians, Plans to Release a New Line of Religious Cups
“Starbucks will now be using cups with the following messages and designs instead of the happy holidays ones…”
Kavanaugh to Be Moved to Top of Liver Transplant List if Confirmed
“Kavanaugh needs a liver by Christmas and the Democrats don’t give a lick!” – Senator Lindsey Graham
#Kavanaugh #FBIReport #SupremeCourt
Barron Trump Returned to Japan After Malfunctions
“Aggression toward the president grew incrementally,” said head ATRI researcher Kaito Nakamura.
Trump Threatens Santa after 16 Years Without a Present
President Donald Trump is furious that he hasn’t received a gift from Santa since 2000 – when he was 54 years old.
Michelle Obama Lifts Barack to Place Kenyan Symbol on Christmas Tree
Tallest first lady ever lifts President Obama in famous tradition.