Trump threatens North Pole after going 18 years without a single present from Santa

President Donald Trump is furious that he hasn’t received a gift from Santa since 2000 – when he was 54 years old. Continue reading Trump threatens North Pole after going 18 years without a single present from Santa

The Salvation Army says it’s donating pocket anuses to the Catholic Church to curb pedophilia

The Salvation Army announced today that they’ll be using $1.58 million in donations to purchase 100,000 pocket anuses for clergymen in the Catholic Church this Christmas. The charity says their goal is to curb pedophilia. “As far as we can … Continue reading The Salvation Army says it’s donating pocket anuses to the Catholic Church to curb pedophilia

A genderless, robotic Santa is driving people in a Wisconsin mall absolutely insane

(Brookfield, WI) A genderless, robotic Santa in Brookfield Square Mall is causing outrage among conservative customers who are demanding a traditional, white, human male Santa. What do you think? Continue reading A genderless, robotic Santa is driving people in a Wisconsin mall absolutely insane

AX-570 android “Barron Trump” returned to a Japanese factory after malfunction causes it to attack

“As the AX-570 android referred to as “Barron” appeared to grow in its capacity to feel, perceive, and experience subjectivity, the android’s aggression toward president Trump grew exponentially.” Continue reading AX-570 android “Barron Trump” returned to a Japanese factory after malfunction causes it to attack