President Donald Trump is furious that he hasn’t received a gift from Santa since 2000 – when he was 54 years old.
Category: Christmas
The Salvation Army says it’s donating pocket anuses to the Catholic Church to curb pedophilia
The Salvation Army announced today that they’ll be using $1.58 million in donations to purchase 100,000 pocket anuses for clergymen in the Catholic Church this Christmas. The charity says their goal is to curb pedophilia. […]
Melania Trump uses her icy cold stare to activate her telekinesis and levitate an angel on top of the White House Christmas Tree
A genderless, robotic Santa is driving people in a Wisconsin mall absolutely insane
(Brookfield, WI) A genderless, robotic Santa in Brookfield Square Mall is causing outrage among conservative customers who are demanding a traditional, white, human male Santa. What do you think?
AX-570 android “Barron Trump” returned to a Japanese factory after malfunction causes it to attack
“As the AX-570 android referred to as “Barron” appeared to grow in its capacity to feel, perceive, and experience subjectivity, the android’s aggression toward president Trump grew exponentially.”
Trump Signs Executive Order Moving Christmas to the 4th of July
“What better way to show that the United States is a Christian nation than by celebrating Jesus’ crucifixion on America’s birthday!?” – President Donald J. Trump
Pope Francis Officially Moves Christmas 2019 to March
“Americans can expect to see Christmas decorations in stores for around 5 to 6 months out of the year.”