Spirit Airlines customers were shocked over the weekend when they arrived at their gates and saw massive cargo planes waiting for them to board. The last minute travel surprise left approximately 9,100 passengers riding in the empty hulls of decommissioned U.S. Air Force cargo planes that had been found in the southwestern deserts of New Mexico.
“Spirit Airlines has always been about saving the customer money at any cost,” CEO Ted Christie stated. “Now that we can transport more people, the prices should go down.”
Passengers describe large crowds, long lines and confusion in airports across the United States, Caribbean, Central and South America .
“I knew something was obviously wrong when I got to my gate and saw a line of about 700 people waiting to board,” passenger Jerome Stevens stated. “Then I looked out the window and saw the biggest, rustiest plane I’ve ever seen in my life.”
Upon boarding the repurposed cargo planes over the weekend, customers immediately noticed that there were no seatbelts.
“We had to pay $35 to be handed a six-point harness which hooked to this metal bracket on the ceiling,” passenger Sharon Brookings stated. “Nobody knew how the fuck to put it on.”
Countless reports say that Spirit Airlines piled in as many people as they could fit and later forced passengers to parachute out over their final destinations.
“It was $200 for a parachute. Then they said that for an extra $100 you could give them an address and they’d tell you a good time to jump out,” Brookings confirmed.
Before leaping, passengers were reminded by Spirit staff that they could have paid in advance and saved 65%.
The FAA and several international agencies are now investigating Spirit Airlines as they never received clearance to drop thousands of passengers out over the skies of 12 different countries. Meanwhile, the old Spirit Airlines planes have already been sold to Ivanka Trump’s new airline, the Trump Shuttle Corporation.
As of press time 87 passengers who attempted to parachute to their destination are still missing.
