🛑 WHAT IF ONLY 25% OF US STOPPED RENTING FOR A JUST COUPLE MONTHS? Here’s a thought: a lot of us are just a bad month or two away from homelessness anyway. Instead of paying outrageous rent, what if 25% … Continue reading What If We Stopped Renting? How 25% of Renters Could Force Change in the Housing Market in Just Months
In a shocking turn of events, J.D. Vance has abruptly ended his bid to be Donald Trump’s vice-presidential running mate upon discovering a crucial piece of … Continue reading JD Vance Drops Out As VP After Learning Trump Isn’t Oversized, Rustic Burnt Sienna Love Seat
Recent findings about the production of “dark oxygen” by metallic minerals deep within the ocean floor are shaking up our understanding of where life could exist. These minerals, which generate oxygen without sunlight, suggest that life might be thriving in … Continue reading Discovery of “Dark Oxygen” Suggests Potential for Hidden Life on Earth & Nearby Planets!
In a move that has officially ended the Israeli-Palestinian War, President Joe Biden announced a groundbreaking deal with pharmaceutical giant Pfizer to mass-produce and distribute personal Gaza Strips to everyone involved in the conflict. Speaking from the Rose Garden, President … Continue reading BREAKING: Biden-Pfizer Deal to Mass Produce Personal Gaza Strips Ends Israeli-Palestinian War Permanently
In an unprecedented and shocking revelation, a team of top scientists from various esteemed institutions have confirmed what many have long suspected: our universe is, in fact, a meticulously crafted hellscape that seems to have been specifically designed to maximize … Continue reading BREAKING: Study Proves Reality is a Fabricated Hell with Just Enough Intelligence to Notice but Not Enough to Fix Anything
In an unprecedented and shocking revelation, Toyota Motor Corporation has issued a public apology after it was discovered that the company had been using live humans as crash test dummies since the 1970s. “We deeply regret our actions and the … Continue reading Toyota Apologizes For Using Live Humans As Crash Test Dummies
“If this will lift the curse from constructing Arrowhead Stadium on an Indian burial ground, then we’re willing to let it slide.” – Chiefs CEO Clark Hunt Continue reading Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes Gives His MVP Trophy to a Nearby Native American Tribe
“The $85 billion we save a year will go toward green energy, education, infrastructure and ending homelessness in America.” Continue reading Congress Passes Resolution to Completely Ignore Middle East
After following Mike Pence home Sunday night to ask questions about the impeachment hearings, field reporters from FOX News saw something much, much more interesting in the Vice President’s garage: a ‘Mother-Pence 2020’ banner along with several campaign yard signs. … Continue reading Breaking: ‘Mother-Pence 2020’ Campaign Signs Spotted in Pence Family Home Garage
“As the AX-570 android referred to as “Barron” appeared to grow in its capacity to feel, perceive, and experience subjectivity, the android’s aggression toward president Trump grew exponentially.” Continue reading AX-570 android “Barron Trump” returned to a Japanese factory after malfunction causes it to attack
“Holy hell! C’mon people. Do I need to spell it out for you!?” – Robert Mueller Continue reading Annoyed Robert Mueller Snaps: “Oh My God, Just Impeach the Bastard Already!”
Upon boarding planes over the weekend, customers immediately noticed that there were no seatbelts. Continue reading Spirit Airlines Began Using Cargo Planes Over the Weekend Without Warning Passengers
“Rand Paul’s house is currently under attack and burning down,” TV personality and activist Jon Stewart stated. Continue reading Americans Crash Hundreds of Drones Into Rand Paul’s Mansion, Nobody Comes to Help
“Donald J. Trump is up for Best Performance in a Comedy Series that lasts for one term or less.” Continue reading Trump White House Nominated for Multiple Emmys, Including Best Limited Series
“The swirling rumors say that Melania refused to return to the White House for two weeks.” Continue reading Melania Trump Was Accidentally Deported
Authorities list gunpowder, Sudafed, oregano, ammonium nitrate fertilizer, paint thinner and celery salt as some of the ingredients. Continue reading KFC’s ‘Secret Recipe’ is Just Explosives & Methamphetamines
“These little green guys don’t stand a chance,” Nevada Governor Steve Sisolak stated. “Us Nevadans don’t take too kindly to… let’s say… off-white beings. Once they cross that fence they’re going to get lit up like the 4th of July!” Continue reading Aliens Locked Up in Area 51 Are Planning to Storm Nevada, Take Over Rest of the World
“What better way to show that the United States is a Christian nation than by celebrating Jesus’ crucifixion on America’s birthday!?” – President Donald J. Trump Continue reading Trump Signs Executive Order Moving Christmas to the 4th of July
