An adorable hamster that has housed the real brain of Ben Carson since a failed 2015 experiment came forward today to voice support for Joe Biden and Black Lives Matter. The hamster, which according to all leading scientists is Ben Carson, showed its support for Biden and the cause by slapping two small bumper stickers and a paw-made ‘Black Lives Matter’ sign on a pair of the doctor’s old glasses and posing for photographs. Notably, legal experts say that the hamster brain currently operating Ben Carson’s human body has been allowed to roam freely – saying and doing whatever it wants – because there aren’t any laws on the books that deal with such a circumstance. “Although Dr. Carson doesn’t have any legal recourse against the actions of the hamster controlling his real body’s every thought and action, we’re doing everything we can to preserve his First Amendment right to free speech by providing him with this photo shoot today,” a representative from Carson’s office stated.
The tweet was accompanied by the hashtags #WhiteLivesMatter and #MAGA.
“The letter went on in vivid detail describing the painting process, preferred makeup brands, how to wash mascara out of your underwear, and more.”
“It really comes down to time and resources.”
Citing differing opinions regarding Freedom of Speech as found in the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, fans in section 129 of the Carolina Panthers vs. San Francisco 49ers game spent the 12-minute halftime respectfully debating the merits of free speech in relation to patriotism.