Category: Work
Unwashed Device Used To Masturbate Passed Around By Coworkers To Order Food
Man Who Works In The Trades Favorite Pastime Is Telling Everyone To Get A Job In The Trades
MILWAUKEE, WI – Local man and proud welder Joseph Stallsworth says that his favorite pastime is telling anyone who will listen to go out and get a job in the trades. “It doesn’t matter if we are complete strangers or … Continue reading Man Who Works In The Trades Favorite Pastime Is Telling Everyone To Get A Job In The Trades
Woman in Pink Mary Kay Mercedes Just Realized She’s Part of a Pyramid Scheme
36-year-old Karen Howard of Ontario, CA just realized that the vibrant pink Mary Kay Mercedes she’s driving is an announcement to the world that she’s part of a pyramid scheme. Howard says she can’t believe that she’s spent two years … Continue reading Woman in Pink Mary Kay Mercedes Just Realized She’s Part of a Pyramid Scheme
A Record 69% of Americans Are Disengaged at Work
According to a recent Gallop poll, less than 1 in 3 employed Americans say they’re involved in, enthusiastic about, or committed to their work or workplace. What do you think? Continue reading A Record 69% of Americans Are Disengaged at Work
Tech Companies Scramble to Reopen Offices so Workers Can Commute to Zoom Meetings
Despite being unable to utilize most office space or conference rooms, tech companies across the United States are pushing to reopen offices so that workers can commute to their Zoom meetings; serving as a firm reminder that employee autonomy only … Continue reading Tech Companies Scramble to Reopen Offices so Workers Can Commute to Zoom Meetings
Unadjustable, 40-Degree Tap Water at Work Isn’t Killing Anything
(Denver, CO) Local man Peter Darling says the unadjustable, nearly-freezing cold water in his workplace restroom is most likely not killing off the Coronavirus, or any other germs for that matter. “If anything, we’re probably giving the virus a nice, … Continue reading Unadjustable, 40-Degree Tap Water at Work Isn’t Killing Anything
Discrimination: Einstein Bagels only hires males with small penises to make center holes in bagels
A class action lawsuits against restaurant chain Einstein Bros Bagels is claiming the restaurant discriminates based on penis size when hiring male employees. Several men reported that part of the interview process involved comparing hand and foot sizes with current … Continue reading Discrimination: Einstein Bagels only hires males with small penises to make center holes in bagels
A British startup company is selling a toilet that is unbearable to sit on after five minutes
British startup, StandardToilet, announced its latest product today: a toilet with a seat that angles 13-degrees downward; making sitting unbearable after just five minutes. With 89% of Americans saying they surf the web while on the toilet at work, experts … Continue reading A British startup company is selling a toilet that is unbearable to sit on after five minutes
Unemployment plummets as thousands of Americans finally open up that Etsy store they’ve been talking about
The jobs report is in and unemployment has dipped to 3.5% after over 225,000 Americans finally made the dream of owning and operating their very own Etsy shop a reality. What do you think? Continue reading Unemployment plummets as thousands of Americans finally open up that Etsy store they’ve been talking about
Nearly Nude: Trump drops his pants while celebrating National Cocaine Day
It’s the most productive day of the year: National Cocaine Day! Celebrated the first Wednesday of December, the US Labor Department says the holiday typically produces six times the normal work output. To mark the day, a fast-talking, wide-eyed president … Continue reading Nearly Nude: Trump drops his pants while celebrating National Cocaine Day
Disgruntled LASIK surgeon might just cut straight through to the brain this time
Congress divided between total FEC shutdown or posting a job on Craigslist
With the Federal Election Commission vice chairman Matthew Petersen stepping down the FEC is effectively shutdown, leaving no one to enforce campaign finance law. Congress is now debating whether to approve $35 in funding to post a job on Craigslist … Continue reading Congress divided between total FEC shutdown or posting a job on Craigslist
The most sought after jobs for Gen Z college grads are not what you’d think
Retired Naval Officer tops the list of most desired professions for new college graduates. Did your job make the cut? 10. Software Engineer 9. Small Woodland Creature 8. Cadaver Marionette 7. Average-sized Woodland Creature 6. Betty White’s Stunt Double 5. … Continue reading The most sought after jobs for Gen Z college grads are not what you’d think
Walmart Implants Elderly Greeters With Robotic Parts
“The geriatric cyborgs have two convenient USB ports allowing customers to charge their phones,” Walmart CEO Doug McMillon stated.
Continue reading Walmart Implants Elderly Greeters With Robotic Parts
Meet the Worst Backseat Driver Ever: A Man Who Only Speaks in Idioms
“I’m going to open his door and push him into oncoming traffic tomorrow. [Expletive] this guy.” Continue reading Meet the Worst Backseat Driver Ever: A Man Who Only Speaks in Idioms
Fox & Friends’ Steve Doocy Pretends to be Gay for 50th Straight April Fools Day
“Steve and Tim will hold hands, and sometimes even kiss,” laughed Earhardt. Continue reading Fox & Friends’ Steve Doocy Pretends to be Gay for 50th Straight April Fools Day
Steve Bannon Starts Line of Alcoholic Bananas
‘Bananons,’ will be infused with Everclear grain alcohol which… Continue reading Steve Bannon Starts Line of Alcoholic Bananas