With the Federal Election Commission vice chairman Matthew Petersen stepping down the FEC is effectively shutdown, leaving no one to enforce campaign finance law. Congress is now debating whether to approve $35 in funding to post a job on Craigslist or just let the 2020 election completely go to shit. Advertisements
“The geriatric cyborgs have two convenient USB ports allowing customers to charge their phones,” Walmart CEO Doug McMillon stated.
“I’m going to open his door and push him into oncoming traffic tomorrow. [Expletive] this guy.”
“Steve and Tim will hold hands, and sometimes even kiss,” laughed Earhardt.
‘Bananons,’ will be infused with Everclear grain alcohol which…
“As the Supreme Court of Alabama is the highest court in America, we will be continuing our fight on another path.”