Mars Rover Found Dead From Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation

“It’s sad to think how much we could have achieved if we hadn’t installed so much BDSM programming.”

Advertisements

Tragic Death Ends Trump Campaign

***BREAKING*** (Washington D.C.) The Republican National Committee is openly taking responsibility for the death of front runner presidential candidate Donald Trump. Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, immediately spoke out about the decision to kill the candidate. “We feel a loss. There’s no doubt about it,” stated Ryan. “We have hundreds of thousands – millions […]

SeaWorld Refusing to Free Dead Whale

SeaWorld Refusing to Free Dead Whale

SeaWorld in San Antonio, Texas is refusing to properly dispose of the corpse of the recently deceased, 18-year-old orca named Unna. Instead, the park has opted to continue using the lifeless animal to continue bringing in crowds and doing shows.

With PETA in an uproar and petitions circling the Internet…