“It’s an odd hellscape where you can hear people scream as their bones crunch under your boots.”
The former FBI Director enrolled in a pottery class Anderson Cooper attends in an attempt to get him to sit in between his legs while whispering key findings in his ear.
“Unless Redbox starts squeezing out moist, two-year-old prosciutto with every DVD, I have no idea how they’re going to compete with this.”
“It’s sad to think how much we could have achieved if we hadn’t installed so much BDSM programming.”
The 1,750 calorie meal has made its return for the month of February only.
“With McCain already tormenting Donald Trump by repeatedly moving and re-hiding the pee tape, we can only expect worse and worse episodes.”
We may never understand what a vegan is, or why fish qualifies as a meat, but we’ll never forget that if global warming is real, at least the vegans died first.” – DonaldTrump
“It’s crazy to say it, but you almost wish they weren’t dead.”
The movie reaches its tipping point when Damon’s children begin to ask why their favorite pig ‘Oinkers’ has gone missing.
A handheld digital pet hailing from Japan, the Tamagotchi was a needy electronic animal that…
The North Korean leader then flipped open a glass-encased red button, pressed it, and was immediately torn apart – along with the rest of his country – by a faulty nuclear missile.
Obama backtracks on promise to spare the lives of innocent turkeys named Tater and Tot – ruining a longstanding American tradition.
***BREAKING*** (Washington D.C.) The Republican National Committee is openly taking responsibility for the death of front runner presidential candidate Donald Trump. Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, immediately spoke out about the decision to kill the candidate. “We feel a loss. There’s no doubt about it,” stated Ryan. “We have hundreds of thousands – millions […]
SeaWorld in San Antonio, Texas is refusing to properly dispose of the corpse of the recently deceased, 18-year-old orca named Unna. Instead, the park has opted to continue using the lifeless animal to continue bringing in crowds and doing shows.
With PETA in an uproar and petitions circling the Internet…
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