“When I think of something, you better believe I’m going to go right up to him, get right on Peter and really ride him. Just unload on him with everything I’ve got – and I’ve got a lot. Just ask Melania. I’ve been trying to finish for quite a while, and when I do it’s going to feel great folks. Just great.”
The former FBI Director enrolled in a pottery class Anderson Cooper attends in an attempt to get him to sit in between his legs while whispering key findings in his ear.
Elizabeth Warren announced today at a campaign rally that she is “ready and willing” to divorce her husband of 39 years and marry her “lifelong best friend Barb.”
“Eggland’s Best apologizes if we’ve torn apart any families because of our gay eggs.”
“The only sexual contact permitted in China for the foreseeable future will be homosexual in nature,” President Jinping stated while intertwining his fingers with NBA star Yao Ming.
“Most of the leathery, ball-related action on the field actually takes place in the players’ jockstraps,” Commissioner Rob Manfred stated.
An attempt to clue the Vice President in using his teleprompter backfired; resulting in Pence aggressively shouting “There’s a tail sticking out of your ass” in the middle of an impassioned speech on moral decay in America.
“This lengthy, intricate study was conducted by the folks at the Harvard Center for Brain Science and incorporated proven Penis Responsiveness Technology (PRT) and Brainwave Function Reading (BFR) from leading scientists from the Biomimetic Robotics Lab at MIT.”
Booker’s 15 minute ventriloquism act included a perfectly performed impersonation of Sesame Street’s best-known character.
A poll of 565 men has found that 82% did not believe mutual masturbation to be a homosexual act, with respondents expressing a sentiment that touching cock isn’t gay, but lips touching lips is gay – meaning that emotional intimacy is their real issue – not the dick. What do you think? Joshua O’brien: “If […]
Trump starts gagging and declares that ‘the golden juice went down the wrong pipe!’
Previously Subaru had used coded marketing tactics to reach lesbians.
Users of the popular gay dating and hookup app ‘Grindr’ have reported that Vice President Mike Pence had a countdown to impeachment on his profile that only remained visible for a few minutes. One user managed to snap a screen shot of Pence’s profile before it was changed. Later the two men met at the […]
It is not uncommon for Bear Cubs (scouts as young as 8 or 9 years old) to leave their families for a better life in the forest.
“Steve and Tim will hold hands, and sometimes even kiss,” laughed Earhardt.
Team refuses to speak to straight, male figure skater. #WinterOlympics
“Our first guideline for all users is that you cannot use nude photos in your profile, so that was strike one.”
On Thursday night, Vice President Mike Pence walked up to Donald Trump just outside of the White House Kitchen and “straight up dropped the motherfucker” with a right hook. An hour later at press time Pence was seen entering the The Crew Club – a famous Washington D.C. gay bathhouse. “Obviously nothing matters anymore, so […]
“Let’s fix this now and add some pizzazz and sparkle to the church.”- Pope Francis
Here are key ways to minimize the negative impact of such websites.
(Boston, MA) In what can only be called shocking, Massachusetts legislators have passed a law that bans homophobic people from using bathrooms. The law, which will take effect on Monday, has some people – for lack of a better term – pissed off.
(Janesville, WI) Donald Trump is known for saying shocking things at his rallies, but today in Wisconsin he wowed the crowd with a stunning admission. Donald Trump is bisexual. Let that sink in.
“Dennis is cool. He’s not a weird guy, and he knows a lot about football, but the other guys just didn’t seem comfortable, whatsoever, with his humor,” stated Sorenson…
“On Thursday Pastor Laurie’s utterances were fulfilled by the overreaching hands of the United States Government. It wasn’t Obama taking our guns, it wasn’t Sharia Law taking over OUR country, and it wasn’t another government program to help the poor or sick… it was…”
Target has announced that it is going to remove boy and girl labels from various aisles and items – including the toy section of its stores. The move, which will make at least all toys (and bedding) non-gender labeled, has caused an uproar in the United States.
Brady revealed that he was “very hurt” by the NFL’s decision to ban him for 4 games. Further, the release stated that he “couldn’t stand to see his team slighted like this” – referring to the lost draft picks and $1 million fine.
“I will be abstaining from the locker room, and football i guess, for awhile because God spoke to me and told me that I should stop doing what I’m doing,” said Wilson. ” I told God right then and there that I would..
The awkward exchange began when Chief Justice Roberts asked famed gay rights lawyer Mary Bonauto why she believed that we should “force churches and religious leaders to preside over a homosexual wedding that, when taken as a whole, would offend their moral conscience.”
…A move which undoubtedly does not allow Christians to express their personally-held convictions that they are entitled to under an Amendment.
Talk show radio host Rush Limbaugh, upon hearing about the gay, atheist-owned bakery in Bloomington from a caller decided to reveal just how unfair the “Godless, liberals in this country have become.” He issued this challenge to his listeners in the Greater Bloomington area…
“At this point I realized that something was up,” stated Johnson “because he would get mad if I walked on the side of him that the arrows on his shirt weren’t pointing at… and ALL of the shirts had an arrow.”