In an effort to eradicate “woke entertainment,” while testing new laws that would “get rid of race mixing,” Florida Governor Ron DeSantis admitted today that he was behind the effort to airdrop 252 non-white, stolen dolls from Disney World’s iconic … Continue reading Disney’s ‘It’s a Small World’ Has 48 Dolls Left After Ron DeSantis Airdrops ‘Colored Ones’ Over White House
(Palm Beach, FL) An area man, who perfectly fits the definition of a con artist, has been embarrassing himself by repeatedly and incorrectly telling everyone he’s uncovered proof of massive fraud in the 2020 election. “For his entire career this … Continue reading Massive Fraud Incapable Of Correctly Identifying Massive Fraud
A 16-Year-Old who is in the care of Florida child welfare authorities has been told that she “lacks the maturity” to have an abortion, but that she is “old enough” to date US House representative Matt Gaetz. The ruling was … Continue reading FL Court Says 16-Year-Old ‘Too Immature’ To Have Abortion, But Old Enough To Date Matt Gaetz
Shortages of baby formula are impacting parents across the country. Due to these conditions, San Francisco is now allowing parents to abort their kids after they have already been born. “This move comes in anticipation of babies dying of starvation,” … Continue reading San Francisco Legalizes Post-Birth Abortions Due To Baby Formula Shortage
A recent study by Harvard University shows that Republicans in the US strongly believe that mentioning the existence of any LGBTQ+ people to kids is inherently sexual and therefore inappropriate for them to hear about. The study comes at a … Continue reading Study: Republicans Think Kids Being Aware Of ‘Straight’ Couples Is Fine, But Mentioning Gay People Is ‘Too Sexual’
Despite clearing their browser histories, Ron DeSantis and dozens of fellow Florida republicans are having an extremely difficult time getting themselves to stop thinking about gay kids. “Anything relating to the queers has to be considered sexual; even their very … Continue reading Despite Clearing Browser Histories, FL Republicans Still Unable To Stop Thinking About Gay Kids
Florida governor Ron DeSantis held a press conference today in which he announced a new bill called the ‘W.O.K.E Act’ – or Whites Organizing for KKKonservative Education. The governor said that he was taking a stand against critical race theory … Continue reading DeSantis Announces ‘Whites Organizing For KKKonservative Education’ – Or ‘W.O.K.E. Act’
News broke today that the gopher from Caddyshack – now turned Federal agent – overheard three residents from The Villages admit to committing voter fraud in the 2020 election. The gopher was sent to secretly monitor the community using a … Continue reading ‘Caddyshack’ Gopher Catches Trump Supporters Who Voted Multiple Times In 2020
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’ approval rating hit an all time low today as more and more of his followers continued to die off. In response to the latest numbers, DeSantis plans to host a town hall with his supporters to … Continue reading FL Gov. To Host Huge Event To Figure Out Why His Supporters Keep Dying
BROOKSVILLE, FLORIDA – Dog owner, and mother of two, Sharon Braun took matters into her own hands this Fourth of July when she attempted to shoot fireworks out of the sky with a rifle “before they could explode.” Braun says … Continue reading Florida Woman Arrested For Shooting Fireworks Out Of The Sky ‘So They Don’t Explode & Scare Dogs’
Representative Matt Gaetz (R-FL) was ticketed for the fourth time yesterday by Fort Walton Beach Police for repeatedly driving back and forth in front of a high school at 10 to 15 miles per hour below the speed limit. Authorities … Continue reading Matt Gaetz Ticketed Again For Driving Too Slowly In School Zone
President Trump is sending federal agents to the US suburbs in order to show citizens just “how easy it is to take their mail.” The move comes in an effort to prove that mail-in ballots will cause large-scale voter fraud … Continue reading Trump Sends Federal Agents to Suburbs to Demonstrate How Easy It Is to Steal Your Mail
Senator Marco Rubio really stepped in it today when he posted a terribly-executed tribute to deceased civil rights leader John Lewis and followed it up with a strange, racist tirade on Twitter. In a since-deleted tweet, Rubio shared a photo … Continue reading Marco Rubio: ‘Wait, Don’t All Black People Look Alike?’
A section of South Ocean Boulevard in Palm Beach, Florida – the road that lead’s to Trump’s Mar-a-Lago – was renamed ‘Racist’s Way’ today by local Mayor Gail Coniglio. Coniglio says the renaming serves as both a rebuke of the … Continue reading Mayor Renames Road Leading to Trump’s Mar-a-Lago ‘Racist’s Way’
Political experts announced today that the number of right wing COVID-deniers, conservative beach-goers, and self-proclaimed “liberators” in Florida is high enough to flip the state blue in the 2020 election – but it’s for a morbid reason. “Unfortunately we’re about … Continue reading BREAKING: Enough Floridians Will Die From the Coronavirus to Flip the State Blue
The swing state of Florida, which is home to the notorious “Florida Man” constituency, is about to be hit by category-4 Hurricane Dorian. In an attempt to keep as many of his inept voters alive and happy, President Trump is … Continue reading Trump sends $1.3 billion in hurricane relief to help protect “Florida Man” constituency
