Disney’s remake of Home Alone, entitled ‘Home Alone: Siempre,’ will feature all Latino actors and a modern plot twist in which Kevin’s parents are taken by racist ICE agents who call themselves “The Wetback Bandits.” Kevin’s parents are deported to Iraq for some fucking reason – even though they’re American citizens – and Kevin is left home alone forever. Home Alone: Siempre is based on a true story and rated R for racism. Support the Author
“Maybe it’ll actually be good enough to win an award this time.” – Will Ferrell
“The people alive today are the last generation of humans that’ll live on this planet as we know it. Having said that, I’d like to invite everyone to go ahead and eat a dick.”
Hopes are high for this sequel as the original 1997 hit raked in over $1.5 billion worldwide.
“We totally nixed three scenes where Dwayne Johnson would’ve been firing his gun at a bunch of hippos for absolutely no reason.”
“Overall, I’d give the movie 5-stars,” Kellner stated.