Loud Biden Fart Makes Putin Smile For First Time In Years & Call Off Ukraine Invasion

President Joe Biden spoke with Russian president Vladimir Putin today in an effort to de-escalate incredibly high tensions surrounding what looked to be an inevitable invasion of Ukraine. As the two men were nearing the end of what seemed like a completely fruitless call, President Biden expelled an incredibly long and loud fart which Putin clearly heard on his end of the phone line.

Those on the call say Putin immediately started laughing.

“It’s the fart heard ’round the world!” Putin cackled for several seconds before adding, “I sounds like something invaded your pants after you dropped that bomb Mr. Biden!

Putin continued chuckling while adding, “I thought we agreed long ago that chemical warfare was off-limits!?”

After several minutes of trying to compose himself, Putin gave Biden his word that he would not be invading the Ukraine anytime soon.

“You have softened my heart with your charming fart,” the Russian president stated. “Thank you for tootin’ for Putin.”

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