The Supreme Court Has Handed Trump Dictator Powers: What the Military Does Next Will Decide America’s Future

In 1933, Hitler used the Reichstag Fire Decree to declare an emergency, suspend civil liberties, sideline parliament, and consolidate absolute power. Today, Trump’s Supreme Court is enabling the same authoritarian outcome: rubber-stamping his overreach, declaring him above the law, and … Continue reading The Supreme Court Has Handed Trump Dictator Powers: What the Military Does Next Will Decide America’s Future

IRS Accidentally Bans Churches From Endorsing Republicans By Requiring Valid Religious Reasons

Trump Supporters Burn Bibles After Finally Learning What Jesus Would Do The IRS is facing backlash from Republicans after announcing that churches may only endorse political candidates without being taxed if they can cite valid religious reasons from their holy … Continue reading IRS Accidentally Bans Churches From Endorsing Republicans By Requiring Valid Religious Reasons

The Universal Flaw in ALL Economic Systems: We Let a Few Wealthy People Take Control

Everyone loves to debate whether communism, socialism, or capitalism works. Critics point out the flaws in each system: communism often leads to authoritarianism, socialism struggles with inefficiencies, and capitalism fosters inequality. But here’s a thought: have we ever truly made … Continue reading The Universal Flaw in ALL Economic Systems: We Let a Few Wealthy People Take Control

BREAKING: Biden-Pfizer Deal to Mass Produce Personal Gaza Strips Ends Israeli-Palestinian War Permanently

In a move that has officially ended the Israeli-Palestinian War, President Joe Biden announced a groundbreaking deal with pharmaceutical giant Pfizer to mass-produce and distribute personal Gaza Strips to everyone involved in the conflict. Speaking from the Rose Garden, President … Continue reading BREAKING: Biden-Pfizer Deal to Mass Produce Personal Gaza Strips Ends Israeli-Palestinian War Permanently

Trump tells his tale of the ‘Battle of The Bone Spurs’ on Veterans Day

In a morning news conference with reporters former president Donald Trump took the better part of an hour to share his own personal war story that he referred to as “The Battle of The Bone Spurs.” “People were coming at … Continue reading Trump tells his tale of the ‘Battle of The Bone Spurs’ on Veterans Day

Zelensky Now Offering NATO Beer & Pizza If They’ll Help Clear Out Ukrainian Airspace

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky is now offering NATO beer and pizza if they agree to come help clear out Russian planes from Ukrainian airspace. “It’s not much. Just a few little planes here and there. It shouldn’t take more than … Continue reading Zelensky Now Offering NATO Beer & Pizza If They’ll Help Clear Out Ukrainian Airspace

Ukraine Trolls Putin’s Army By Airdropping Thousands Of White Flags & Directions For How To Surrender On Top Of Their Heads

Ukranian President Volodymyr Zelensky had thousands of white flags and directions on how to surrender airdropped on top of Russian troops today. Some people are calling the move psychological warfare, while others say it was simply a joke to raise … Continue reading Ukraine Trolls Putin’s Army By Airdropping Thousands Of White Flags & Directions For How To Surrender On Top Of Their Heads

Attention-Seeking Kim Jong-un Posts Series Of Revealing Photos With Risqué Hashtags

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un posted a series of sexual, shirtless photos of himself on social media today while adding several risqué and incorrectly-used hashtags to accompany them. Political experts are saying that the decision to post this content reveals … Continue reading Attention-Seeking Kim Jong-un Posts Series Of Revealing Photos With Risqué Hashtags

Trump Says Mar-a-Lago Being Lit Up As The Russian Flag Last Night Was An ‘Accident’

People within view of Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort last night are saying that they saw the former president’s property light up in Russian flag colors for about 15 minutes. When reached for comment, Trump said it was all an honest … Continue reading Trump Says Mar-a-Lago Being Lit Up As The Russian Flag Last Night Was An ‘Accident’

Loud Biden Fart Makes Putin Smile For First Time In Years & Call Off Ukraine Invasion

President Joe Biden spoke with Russian president Vladimir Putin today in an effort to de-escalate incredibly high tensions surrounding what looked to be an inevitable invasion of Ukraine. As the two men were nearing the end of what seemed like … Continue reading Loud Biden Fart Makes Putin Smile For First Time In Years & Call Off Ukraine Invasion

Biden sends troops back to afghanistan to get oil

Troops Sent Back To Afghanistan After Biden Remembers Country Has Oil

The US military is doing an about-face and heading back to Afghanistan after President Joe Biden suddenly remembered that the war-torn country has massive, untapped oil reserves. Biden says it would be “unconscionable” to not secure the oil. “It would … Continue reading Troops Sent Back To Afghanistan After Biden Remembers Country Has Oil

Israeli palestinian conflict ice cream

Ben & Jerry’s To Release New Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Ice Cream That’s Just Chocolate & Vanilla That Refuses To Mix

Known for dabbling in politics, ice cream company Ben & Jerry’s is set to release a new ‘Israeli-Palestinian Conflict’ flavor that’s just chocolate and vanilla that is impossible to mix together. “What you’re basically getting here is the choice to … Continue reading Ben & Jerry’s To Release New Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Ice Cream That’s Just Chocolate & Vanilla That Refuses To Mix

Insurrectionist Who’s Mad US Military Will Defend Country From Him Is Demanding Access To F-15’s, Nukes

President Joe Biden delivered a speech today in which he stated that if more insurrectionists wanted to try to take down the government that they would need weapons such as F-15’s and nukes to even have a chance against the … Continue reading Insurrectionist Who’s Mad US Military Will Defend Country From Him Is Demanding Access To F-15’s, Nukes

Civil War 'Unlikely' as Most Trump Supporters Are Sick With COVID

Civil War ‘Unlikely’ as Most Trump Supporters Are Sick With COVID

Looking to ease the nation’s worries that the United States is on the brink of civil war, historians have come together to point out that too many Trump supporters have gotten COVID for the modern day South to physically rise … Continue reading Civil War ‘Unlikely’ as Most Trump Supporters Are Sick With COVID

0.0034% of US Veterans Sign Open Letter Supporting Trump

Of the nearly 20.4 million US veterans in the United States, the Trump Administration managed to coax just under 700 of them on Craigslist to sign an open letter in support of the president. The letter comes just after it … Continue reading 0.0034% of US Veterans Sign Open Letter Supporting Trump

Bored Town Celebrates WWII Vet’s 103rd Birthday Despite Not Knowing Which Side He Fought On

Looking for something to do during the coronavirus pandemic, the town of Sherman Falls, Michigan threw a birthday parade for local resident and 103-year-old WWII veteran Hanz Richter today despite having no idea which side he fought on. Residents say … Continue reading Bored Town Celebrates WWII Vet’s 103rd Birthday Despite Not Knowing Which Side He Fought On

Space Force Bible written in Galactic Basic and blessed at National Cathedral sparks outrage

The blessing of the official Bible of the US Space Force took place today and religious groups are livid after learning the selected Bible was written in Galactic Basic; the common language found in Star Wars. The White House confirmed … Continue reading Space Force Bible written in Galactic Basic and blessed at National Cathedral sparks outrage