Republicans voted today to block the release of the Epstein files after years of promising to expose an enormous ring of elite pedophiles. Party leaders say it was a “timing issue.” “We would have totally voted to expose and prosecute … Continue reading Republicans Block Epstein Files Release: ‘It Wouldn’t Be Fair to Pedophiles Who Already Bribed Us’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a 6–3 decision along political lines, the Supreme Court ruled today that non-consensual cosmetic surgery on male infant genitals remains fully legal, “so long as it’s done before the child can talk, walk, or scream ‘No!’” … Continue reading Supreme Court Confirms Parents’ Right to Remove Part of Child’s Penis for Non-Medical Reasons
In a discovery that has completely reshaped online dating culture (and dramatically reduced unsolicited dick pics), scientists have revealed a simple test that may hint at a man’s… proportions. A study found that men with mismatched length index and ring fingers … Continue reading Dating Apps, DMs Flooded With Hand Pics After Science Confirms Strong Correlation Between Finger Length & Penis Size
🥂🍻🥃🍷 I BET AT LEAST 10%-15% of the 🇺🇸 U.S. is ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL 🍾🍺🍶 THERE’S AT LEAST 7 EMOJIS FOR IT 🤣😿 😈🥬💨 It’s FAR worse than the devil’s lettuce. Nobody talks about it, yet it’s everywhere—on TV, in … Continue reading I BET AT LEAST 10%-15% of the 🇺🇸 U.S. is ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL
A study released today by the University of California Berkeley shows that men with small penises have been disproportionately impacted when it comes to soaring gas prices. The findings were directly linked to several other peer reviewed studies that show … Continue reading Pain At The Pump: Men With Small Penises Are Most Impacted By High Gas Prices
“At least 87% of lotion used by men is vigorously rubbed on less than 1% of their bodies.” Continue reading Study: Guys Use 3X More Lotion Than Girls, and Yes, You Know Why
“When I think of something, you better believe I’m going to go right up to him, get right on Peter and really ride him. Just unload on him with everything I’ve got – and I’ve got a lot. Just ask Melania. I’ve been trying to finish for quite a while, and when I do it’s going to feel great folks. Just great.” Continue reading Trump Explains Why He Hasn’t Made a Homophobic Nickname For Pete Buttigieg, Yet
“The only sexual contact permitted in China for the foreseeable future will be homosexual in nature,” President Jinping stated while intertwining his fingers with NBA star Yao Ming. Continue reading China Bans Heterosexual Sex Over Population Concerns
Pope Francis’ adult book is entitled ‘The Divinci Load.’ Continue reading Pope Francis Demands Every Dirty Detail on Sexual Abuse for His Adult Fantasy Novel
Gillette says they intend to replace the marketing team with all female, yet conservative employees “so both sides shut up.” Continue reading Awful Commercial Angers Men, Causes Hipsters to Shave Beards
