Trump Supporters Burn Bibles After Finally Learning What Jesus Would Do The IRS is facing backlash from Republicans after announcing that churches may only endorse political candidates without being taxed if they can cite valid religious reasons from their holy … Continue reading IRS Accidentally Bans Churches From Endorsing Republicans By Requiring Valid Religious Reasons
2 in 3 ICE Hires Came From Targeted Ads on Dating Apps for Men With Zero Matches Lynchburg, Virginia — A new study released by Liberty University reveals that over 80% of Immigration & Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents chose the … Continue reading Study Finds 83% of ICE Agents Took the Job Because Raids Are the Only Time They Get to Touch Women
Employers are fully aware that their workers are struggling to afford rent, food, healthcare, and basic stability. This isn’t a mystery. The reality is that: You’re not imagining it, and you’re not wrong to be angry. On top of this, … Continue reading Your Boss Doesn’t Care You’re Broke: That’s the Business Model
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a controversial new initiative, President Trump has launched the NARC Act (National Asylum Reward for Caucasians), offering citizenship to undocumented white immigrants who help ICE identify and deport browner illegal immigrants. The initiative was originally named the … Continue reading Trump Launches ‘NARC Act’: Undocumented Whites Offered Citizenship for Turning in Darker Immigrants
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a grotesque spectacle, President Donald Trump is defending his now-viral Big Mac cheese mustache he wore while signing executive orders that targeted sanctuary cities, insisting the look was entirely “intentional.” Reporters were quick to point out … Continue reading Trump Says Big Mac Cheese Mustache Was ‘Intentional’ During Executive Order Signing
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold move to “simplify communication across America,” President Donald Trump has signed an executive order declaring that all spoken word, news, television, and publications must be stated or written in “fifth-grade English or lower.” “This … Continue reading Makes ‘English Limited to 5th Grade Level’ Official Language of U.S.
In a move that’s shocked constitutional scholars, President Trump announced late Sunday night that the Department of Justice has officially been dissolved. Gone are the days of the DOJ standing in the way of his personal goals. In its place? … Continue reading Trump Dismantles DOJ: ‘It’s Now the Department of Just Us, Only Me and Elon’
In a bold counter to Elon Musk’s ‘Cash for Votes’ scheme, Kamala Harris has introduced an innovative idea: complete student loan forgiveness for anyone living in a swing state that she wins during the Presidential election. “Those in key swing … Continue reading Kamala Harris Announces Student Loan Forgiveness For All Residents In Swing States She Wins
🛑 WHAT IF ONLY 25% OF US STOPPED RENTING FOR A JUST COUPLE MONTHS? Here’s a thought: a lot of us are just a bad month or two away from homelessness anyway. Instead of paying outrageous rent, what if 25% … Continue reading What If We Stopped Renting? How 25% of Renters Could Force Change in the Housing Market in Just Months
Everyone loves to debate whether communism, socialism, or capitalism works. Critics point out the flaws in each system: communism often leads to authoritarianism, socialism struggles with inefficiencies, and capitalism fosters inequality. But here’s a thought: have we ever truly made … Continue reading The Universal Flaw in ALL Economic Systems: We Let a Few Wealthy People Take Control
Citing a lack of anonymity as being their primary mistake, countless arrested domestic terrorists who stormed the Capitol now say they regret not wearing white, pointy hoods like their grandparents had during riots past. “Collectively, we should have learned from … Continue reading Arrested Capitol Attackers Now Wish They’d Worn Hoods Like Their Grandparents
“It’s Adam and Summer’s Eve, not Ben and Jerry; although, some Victoria’s Secret and Lane Bryant experimentation sounds intriguing,” Trump tweeted. Continue reading Supreme Court Rules “Corporations Can Also Be Gay People”
Deliberately drawing zigzagging lines around all the white people will no longer be an option. Continue reading Republicans Blame Parkinson’s For Racial Gerrymandering After Ban By Supreme Court
