“Contrary to popular belief, fingerlike appendages do not exit the butt and press on the phone screen, that’s poop you’re thinking of.”
“If friendship and odors don’t matter to you, then you could really get in great shape.”
“It’s nice to know that my wife has a backup plan in case our marriage fails because it means we still have something in common.”
“I can tell you how the world ends right now. We fart ourselves to death.” – Stanford Professor Böse Blahung
Being unable to spell is no longer considered a ‘dealbreaker’ among most Americans.
“This lengthy, intricate study was conducted by the folks at the Harvard Center for Brain Science and incorporated proven Penis Responsiveness Technology (PRT) and Brainwave Function Reading (BFR) from leading scientists from the Biomimetic Robotics Lab at MIT.”
“It’s not like we’re asking them to carry our purses up there – although that would be ideal and hopefully it leads to that.”
“These kids aren’t fully investing themselves in the vibrant artistic expression and riveting stories.” – Jane Meyers, Head of Stanford’s Sex & Gender Studies
The polls showed a likely win for her, but the results did not reflect that; whatsoever. Now we have a fail-safe and proven reason as to why he managed to become the next President of the United States of America.
Handsman had thought that pedometers, which are tiny instruments used to record the distance traveled or number of steps taken in a given period of time, were actually tools used to detect something about pedophiles.
For years now you always thought your opinions and worldview were accurate, but now you can say, without a doubt, you are scientifically proven to always be in the right.