Joe Biden tells stunned rally-goers a story about eating a baby

YouReadyGrandma

In yet another major misstep, presidential candidate Joe Biden announced at a rally today that he “loves the smell of newborn babies,” adding that “the aroma is even better when they’re cooked.” “I was in the Cayman Islands and my old buddy Corn Pop brought over this free range, breast-fed rotisserie baby meat to my cabana,” Biden grinned. “And let me tell you, baby is softer and juicier than chicken, and the smell is better than hair. Gotta love babies!” Advertisements

Advertisements

Officials warn liberals that a 2nd active Koch Brother is still at large

YouReadyGrandma

Those on the left are being told to stay indoors after public officials warned of a second active Koch brother. “Although one threat has been neutralized, there’s still another bad man reeking havoc on the country,” Joe Biden stated. The second brother has been identified as Charles G. Koch and is considered by authorities to be armed and cantankerous. “We could pass laws to protect ourselves from people like the Koch brothers, but that would require effort. So we’ll just wait for that old bastard to die,” a 76 year old Joe Biden stated. Artwork by DonkeyHotey

Medical Examiner rules Epstein’s death caused by asphyxiation during hot, gay prison sex

YouReadyGrandma

An official Medical Examiner report says that Jeffrey Epstein was strangled to death by a fellow inmate during incredibly hot, consensual erotic asphyxiation. “Although the two inmates did have a safe word, Epstein was unable to say it,” the report stated. “If he’d just managed to yell the phrase ‘help I’m being murdered’ this all could have been avoided.”

Millennials are burying their parents with the participation trophies they didn’t ask for

YouReadyGrandma

It’s a smart way to recycle while also saying ‘Thanks for playing the game of life! You certainly didn’t win, Sharon, but here’s a fucking trophy.’

Piling Bodies, Trash & Feces Make Mount Everest 9 Feet Taller Every Week

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s an odd hellscape where you can hear people scream as their bones crunch under your boots.”

Radical Religious Group “Y’all-Qaeda” Bans Abortion in Alabama

YouReadyGrandma

Authorities have confirmed that Y’all-Qaeda leadership has ties to a Mississippi terror cell referred to as Talabangelicals who are also complete [expletive].

Weird Tech: Watch the Life Story of Animals as You Eat Them

YouReadyGrandma

“Unless Redbox starts squeezing out moist, two-year-old prosciutto with every DVD, I have no idea how they’re going to compete with this.”

%d bloggers like this: