Medical Examiner rules Epstein’s death caused by asphyxiation during hot, gay prison sex

An official Medical Examiner report says that Jeffrey Epstein was strangled to death by a fellow inmate during incredibly hot, consensual erotic asphyxiation. “Although the two inmates did have a safe word, Epstein was unable to say it,” the report stated. “If he’d just managed to yell the phrase ‘help I’m being murdered’ this all could have been avoided.” Advertisements

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Millennials are burying their parents with the participation trophies they didn’t ask for

YouReadyGrandma

It’s a smart way to recycle while also saying ‘Thanks for playing the game of life! You certainly didn’t win, Sharon, but here’s a fucking trophy.’

Piling Bodies, Trash & Feces Make Mount Everest 9 Feet Taller Every Week

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s an odd hellscape where you can hear people scream as their bones crunch under your boots.”

Radical Religious Group “Y’all-Qaeda” Bans Abortion in Alabama

YouReadyGrandma

Authorities have confirmed that Y’all-Qaeda leadership has ties to a Mississippi terror cell referred to as Talabangelicals who are also complete [expletive].

Weird Tech: Watch the Life Story of Animals as You Eat Them

YouReadyGrandma

“Unless Redbox starts squeezing out moist, two-year-old prosciutto with every DVD, I have no idea how they’re going to compete with this.”

McDonald’s is Giving Away Red Heart Disease Awareness T-Shirts With Purchase of Grand Big Mac Meal

YouReadyGrandma

The 1,750 calorie meal has made its return for the month of February only.

National Association of Funeral Directors Says Photos of Dead are ‘On Fleek’

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s crazy to say it, but you almost wish they weren’t dead.”